Imagine This Is Heaven
by Sweetly-Sadistic's-Romanticide
Summary: After years of being confined to the Bureau, Abe decides enough is enough. After leaving to find his place, he meets Valerie. Due to the Christmas season, he is forced to stay until spring. He has no idea what he is getting into
1. Chapter 1

Many people in the world get that feeling that they are all alone in the world, the only one of their kind and isolated. Sometimes it's because they are unattractive, strange, awkward or simply unable to come in contact with the right people. But luckily (for most of us) this is a temporary stage and we break free at some point or another. But then again there are persons like Abe Sapien. Not many of course; just enough to make up a population of one: him. Sound depressing? He thought so too. He was unlucky enough to be unattractive, strange, awkward and unable to contact people and it wasn't as if this phase would pass like puberty.

Abe Sapien wasn't exactly human and unfortunately that is a requirement in most social circles. Well, he was sort of human. No one was sure what he was except that he had been discovered half alive in a tank with a label from a century previous. Not much can be said of his history or life since there was none until the Bureau of Paranormal Research and Defense came along and dropped a load of unholy hell on his species-confused head. To be honest, he sometimes wasn't sure if he was half-fish or half-frog. Most blatantly it was frog when one looked at him but then again he had gills. Generally, frogs didn't have gills past the tadpole stage. Okay, he decided, he was half-amphibious. It was a little better, he supposed.

Since he was currently alone in his apartment in the B.P.R.D. quarters in Connecticut, Abe sighed and looked down at himself wearily. The dull, orange light from his desk lamp glittered oddly on his amphibious, mottled patterned skin. It always looked slight moist and vibrant, smooth in variations of green. It wasn't a badly formed body, he speculated, despite the thin webbing between his toes and fingers. Oh and the gills. But other than that, he was fairly muscled, long and streamlined for swimming in the deepest waters. He was lucky in that aspect; he could weigh three hundred pounds and be an obnoxious shade of red.

Setting the tattered copy of The Occult by Colin Wilson down on the small table at his side, Abe stretched in the low backed chair, his long arms reaching behind him, webbed fingers grasping the still air. He felt a groan bubble up in his throat but he didn't want to let it free. It was so quiet and in his life and work it was a blessing. As he relaxed back, slumping in the seat, he glanced at the wall clock, realizing it was two twenty-eight in the morning.

The team, comprised of him, Hellboy and Kate, had returned two days earlier from Chile. A crazed, ancient demon had managed to escape the warded confines of a hidden temple in the rainforest, ravaging nearby towns and stealing all of their mangoes. Yes, that's right: mangoes. The old, depraved thing wasn't doing any harm other than hijacking the fruit and scaring the living hell out of superstitious locals. Their arrival quite possibly just made it worse. They had begun laying the fruits out for the demon to appease it when they showed up. They started laying out red peppers and fish that night. A helpless chuckle escaped him as he though of their faces, staring up at Hellboy in frank awe. No matter what the nationality was, people reacted in one of two ways: Duuuhhhh….wow. Or in hysterics accompanied by frantic prayers to various gods.

Standing up languidly, Abe went over to a low tank tucked next to his one paned window. He supposed it was like a bed; low, wide and essential for good sleep. No lights were in this one so when he flicked off the desk lamp, darkness enveloped the world. He felt his pupils dilate to adjust to the inky black, the second layer of lids blinking blearily. Slowly he made his way to the tank guided by the faint light that escaped the cracked curtains. Luckily he bumped into only a chair on the way. As soon as his skin touched the warm water, his mind slid into a sort of tired limbo.

Making barely a sound in the water, he laid down, submerging his entire frame. It almost felt like being remade, he mused as his body soaked in as much moisture as possible in the next eight hours of sleep. All the weight of the world, all its prejudice, hatred and ignorance disappeared, sloughing off like mud from him mentally and physically.

Finally he sighed, watching the bubbles rise from his lips into the darkness that hovered about him. The bubbles glinted gold before they burst like fireworks at the surface. How long will he naturally live, he wondered drowsily, well, as naturally as possible considering his origins. Would his own life end in a golden burst, brilliant and lovely? It would be a hero's death. No one who knew him would deny that he deserved it but somehow he doubted he'd be rewarded as such.

In mild irritation, his frail-seeming gills flared and his hand clenched underwater. An unreasonable spout of indignant rage half-shocked him from slumber, frustrating him further. The more he worked under the B.P.R.D., the harder it became to restrain the resentment and anger he felt boiling under his cool façade. It wasn't enough that he was alone and lonely but they used him like an utter tool or trained freak. It upset him more to think about it but he knew that, that is what it all summed up to. He was a freak and they were the only ones who'd put up with the fact.

It wasn't fair of course but things very rarely were for anyone. But even that statement didn't ring true to Abe. The more he considered his fellow freaks, the more unbalanced it seemed. Hellboy was fast becoming a national/international hero, plastered on Time Magazine, taking interviews on CNB and taking tours with every military on the planet. Liz was a walking horror story that everyone knew and was loved for it. She was revered by pyros, that one. She was human to top it off so she could move through life much more easily for others to accept her.

But Abe? Maybe three people outside of the B.P.R.D. knew of him personally. Oh, he wasn't asking for fame or fortune but he wanted recognition and appreciation like them. Like Liz, like a hu-

Abruptly, Abe jerked himself fully awake, disrupting the peaceful water around him into a tiny tempest of upset splashes. Not caring how wet the wood flooring got, he scrambled out of the tank a bit clumsily in his growing frustration. He heard the sound of the webbing on the floor and gritted his teeth painfully. The thought had almost formulated, damn everything to hell, but it did.

Feeling a bit suffocated, he yanked the light on and paced from the chair to the door before going back to his tank. Sleep was impossible now that he had begun thinking and now that his blood surged in hateful anger. It wasn't like him to feel such a fury but he couldn't stop it. He didn't know what to do with himself or where to go. He couldn't just take off like the others, run away for the night and get a slap on the wrist. Abe stopped pacing abruptly (he did most things sharply or abruptly nowadays) and frowned.

Why couldn't he? Didn't he deserve a chance to see the world unsupervised without masks? As long as he could remember there was someone watching or security cameras filming, making sure he didn't get away or do something stupid. Hah! Of all the freaks in the B.P.R.D. they sheltered and followed him the most since Liz and Hellboy went worldwide and he was the least violent. Sure, there was that incident with the sharks who possessed dead slaves souls from the whole African slave trade thing. That hurt more than a little. But the other man survived that too, didn't he?

Perhaps it was out of mere rebellion or a blatant strike against the company that both protected him and kept him captive, but he knew without a doubt that he could not stay another day. He'd felt this anger for a long time but it had never helped him think of a plan before now. It might not be forever that he'd be gone but then again it could be. Only ten percent of the oceans were explored, right? Plenty of space to hide there in the worst case scenario.

Within half an hour, Abe had all his essential gear such as his water inhaler and concealing duster and hat on and ready to go. It was four-thirty a.m., the sun will come up in an hour or so and no one would even know he was gone.


	2. Chapter 2

"Alright, this is getting ridiculous," Abe muttered irritably through the thick beard. He kicked the moped in annoyance, hardly feeling it through the uncomfortable, military standard boots. "Who puts gas stations over two hundred and fifty miles apart? Who?"

A bit huffily, he grabbed his bag off the bike and kicked it again for good measure. No gas and only a map of Ohio. The guy said it was for Michigan and he didn't check it. And now, somewhere near southern Michigan with a map of Ohio, he was lost. And it was getting dark and cold. His body temperatures were irregular due to mixed genetics and he had to be kept at a fairly neutral level. And in the middle of October near the eastern coast, it was not going to be that easy.

Abe started down the road, eyeing the barely visible sky. About four hours till sunset he figured with the mid-fall crickets and cicadas singing out incessantly. Tall, ancient trees towered gloomily over the road, spreading their branches like an interlacing and crowding tunnel. The sides were carpeted in pine needles and a few early turning leaves. Already shivering in the shade of the trees, Abe hugged his arms about his torso, praying for a town and a bathtub.

He'd been gone for three days now and he was running low on money. There was maybe enough for one more night in a motel or a quick hitch hiking trip. He wasn't sure what to do at this point except get to a warm lake and hibernate the winter. It was stupid sounding to a normal person but it was practical in his case. He would freeze to death and quickly without shelter. Going back was out of the question as was going to the government. He had no idea what either would do. They had planted a bomb in Roger's chest due to the fear of not being able to control him. What would they do to him?

Abe felt that his breathing was growing labored as the clean water grew low and it worried him. He could survive without it for a while but not for longer than a few hours. All streams were dried up from the long, harsh summer and he didn't trust the ponds that lurked near the road. He was better off inhaling gasoline.

The stubborn refusal to feel stupid for his decision made him pick up his pace. He refused to feel bad for stealing the moped from John or the meager thirty from Manning. He was sick of feeling bad about everything. It was awful right now but he had to keep up the hope that things would get better.

After about another half hour he came upon a road sign bearing a quaint town name five miles up the road. Brethren, population 480. Shifting his pack on his shoulder, Abe sighed once again. With a small town, bad things generally happen.

Luckily, once he got there he found a motel. Unluckily, for Abe, it was too expensive. To make it worse, it was the last one for the next three towns according to the manager. And to top it off, the town of Brethren was having an annual harvest festival in the main road. Huge milling crowds of residents and nearby neighbors were crowding the street. Stands of fruit and vegetables lined the bustling streets, along with displays of arts and crafts. Abe walked behind the carts, away from the lights which filtered between people and carts. He knew he was being stared at purely for his overdressed, shabby state but it made him terribly nervous as more and more of them paid attention to his frantic walk.

Slowing down, he meandered his way to the end of the festival, keeping his head down and sticking to the store fronts. By the time he had reached it, his water was freezing cold and dirty. He needed to find somewhere to clean it and warm up. He desperately wished he was more warm-blooded or had a parka. The road ended in a three way intersection, one indicating the next town, Copemish. The other went up a lighted residential street that ended in a cul-de-sac. Opposite from town was naught but tilled farmland, banked by dark forest.

"Okay, so…become a frozen fish fillet or hide overnight?" he muttered in a half joke. Within minutes, Abe found a house along the cul-de-sac with an unlocked side door to the garage. All lights were off in the house so he guessed the owners were at the festival. His heart thundered painfully in his chest as he opened the door. No alarm and the garage was somewhat warmer than outside.

Once inside he shifted the mask off and let it hang about his neck. Peering about he found the dark space murky to say in the least but he didn't dare turn on the light. Carefully, he moved about a single Sudan parked in the garage, feeling heat from the engine seeping into his amphibious skin. As he passed the front door of the car, his pack slid to his elbow. Without thinking of the action, he hefted it back up. The buckle on the front snagged the door handle, yanking it up.

Abe Sapien's been spooked more than a million times in his life but he still had that urge to freeze in his spot when startled. So unfortunately, when the car began honking and flashing its headlights in warning he was still in place, creeping about with a fake beard about his neck.

It felt like slow motion. First the alarm beeped off. Then the garage lights flicked on and the door to the house swung open, revealing the dark expanse of the hallway. Out of the darkness, he spotted someone wielding a bat; a very painful looking metal bat. After seeing that he decided it would be a good idea to escape. At first he considered the side door but it meant getting to close to the home owner.

The person made not a sound of alarm as he ducked behind the car, crouching down and pulling up the fake beard. His heart hurt from how startled and panicked he was which surprised him. He'd been attacked and nearly mutilated over a thousand times but he had never felt so clueless as to what he should do with an innocent civilian discovering him. A bit frantically he took as deep of breaths as he could through the chilly water and forced himself to read the thoughts about him. Carefully he sorted out the person's brain waves, finding her, he realized, over by the side door locking it shut. That shocked him. Who on earth locked themselves in with a stranger who broke into their home?

Abe listened to the soft steps, realizing she was barefoot as she carefully went to the end of the car. She set down the bat, leaning it against the wall. Despite the heavy, inconvenient boots, he stayed in his crouch and backed about the front of the car as she walked from the other side. Abe's fishy heart leapt in up into his throat when his back collided with a large freezer, cornering him.

Before he could get away, the woman walked about the car, peering intently at him. He quickly brought his long legs up to his chest and tucked his face into his knees. The hat tilted a bit but he prayed it would cover his skin. The last thing he wanted to do was scare her and with him being what he was, it would be very bad thing to happen. She knelt down a few feet away, slow and cautious, in front of him. Abe tensed, his muscles bunching to prepare for escape.

Slowly but surely he felt a gentle hand lift his hat, revealing the bare skin of his skull and its green, mottled patterns. He heard her set the hat in her lap, breath hitching in curious bewilderment. Suddenly, he felt the insanely soft, trembling touches of her fingertips, brushing his skin. He could practically taste her trepidation, fear and curiosity that emanated from her mind. But no malice or anger came from her.

Timidly, Abe looked up, his large eyes gazing up from the safety of his arms. The woman withdrew her hand, her own eyes a bit wide. They were a pretty shade of chocolate brown, stained with shoots of spring green, he noticed dumbly. Her large, bee-stung lips moved in words that he couldn't hear and she frowned her thoughtful brows. His head felt too light and his chest began constricting as he breathed. After a brief moment of confusion, Abe realized what was happening. The water had finally gotten too dirty to breath; he was suffocating!

Shakily, Abe reached out, indicating his regulator as his vision blurred, melding the colors and shapes into a crazy collage. The world spun dizzily and he found himself crumbling forward to lay on his back, gazing up at the blinding garage light. The very ground seemed to be as a boat rocking and turning unsteadily. The woman's head loomed over him, blocking out most of the light, turning her dark hair into a halo. She was in a panic, he could see that much, trying to talk to him, to wake him up. Abe bemusedly looked at her hair, wondering what it felt like and why he hadn't realized he was fainting earlier.

Then the world turned black.


	3. Chapter 3

Warmth, penetrating warmth that soaked into every pore greeted him as he drifted. Abe frowned drowsily as he awoke, his mind not quite catching up with the sensations. His body was in soothing warm water, floating easily and languidly. Tiredly, Abe opened his eyes a little almost expecting to be back at the B.P.R.D.

To his surprise and dawning horror, he found himself in a large bathtub, filled to the brim with clean, hot water. Clumsily, he sat up straight, flailing numbed arms and splashing water over the edge onto a white tiled floor. It was a tidy bathroom with blue towels and floor mat. Nothing out of the ordinary. Now fully awake and alert, Abe scrambled as silently as possible out of the tub, dripping water everywhere. There were no windows and only one wooden door. All his clothes except the shorts he wore and his pack were gone.

Plotting his escape, Abe reached for the burnished copper doorknob. Before the tips of his webbed fingers could touch it, the knob jiggled and turned slowly, as if the other person thought he was sill asleep. Thinking quickly, he sidestepped behind the door and plastered himself to the wall as the door opened quietly. The door barely touched his heaving, wet chest as the woman from the garage walked in, carrying a cup of steaming coffee.

Abe watched silently as she set down the cup and glanced about for him, concerned when she didn't see him in the tub. Quietly he crept up behind her. Her hair was a rich dark chestnut color, down about mid-back and thick. She wore simple jeans and a long, loose red sweater that clung to her hips and belly.

Quick as lightening, Abe snaked an arm about her waist, pinning her arms to her sides. With his free hand he clasped her mouth, her lips against his sensitive, webbed fingers and palm. A startled cry came out muffled in his palm as she struggled against him. To keep her still, Abe hauled her tightly to him, spreading his legs to brace them.

After a few moments of hopeless struggle, she calmed and stood perfectly still in his grasp. He could feel her heart thundering and her lips tighten in fright as her breath blew on his skin. He leaned in close to her neck by her ear so only she could hear.

"I'm going to let you go. Do not make a sound," he warned lowly, allowing his voice to grow low and gravelly. She shivered as his breath danced over her ear and cheek before nodding. Slowly he released her mouth, still not letting go of her frame. "Now, what is your name?"

The woman trembled a little bit at his voice before answering in a shaking timbre.

"Valerie."

"Valerie? Okay, Valerie, where am I?" he questioned further, whispering in her ear in case there were other people in the house. She quirked her head towards his voice and sighed shakily. The heat from the steaming bath was making him flushed and his skin sticky especially with her warm body held captive against him. A bit reluctantly he let go, stepping back to the door to block any escape.

Valerie turned about, her hands clasped to her sides, to look at him. The light brown of her eyes, ringed in dark eye liner, shone dramatically against her pale skin and dark hair. Questioning, thoughtful brows were raised in slight fear of him and her lower lip trembled. Abe eased his defensive posture and leaned against the door, folding his arms over his chest. She swallowed a bit hard before answering.

"At my parent's house."

"And do they know that I am here?"

"No."

She sat down on the closed toilet seat, her hands limp in her lap as she stared at him in blatant amazement and mute shock. Abe blinked both sets of eyelids in annoyance and was relieved when she blushed and looked away.

"Sorry."

"Hmm," he replied a bit thoughtlessly as he searched her wandering thoughts. It was all just general curiosity and concern whirling there. The concern caught him off guard. Well, he did break in and then pass out in her garage.

Abe went back to the tub, catching her gaze when she looked back up. Climbing in he saw her relax a little more, as if she was afraid he'd dry out and die. It was odd, he mused, conversing however sparsely with a stranger.

"My name is Abe," he introduced finally as he settled in the tub.

"Abe?" she echoed softly.

"Abe Sapien," he amended carefully, watching her for a sign of recognition. There was none. The government wasn't kidding when they labeled him top secret.

Valerie bit her lower lip and looked at her fiddling hands to avoid staring. He knew what she wanted to ask but could sense that she wouldn't. During the quiet, he took the time to read her thoroughly. It was unfair but he had to know the person who saved him.

Her name was Valerie Thurmond, twenty-eight years old, born in Vermont on a warm summer's night. She had seven siblings, three parents (one her stepfather) and a running count of twenty failed relationships. Christmas was her favorite holiday. She loved Grimm fairytales and hated marmalade. The rest was all basic random things that he always picked up when he read people. Mostly he searched for the feel of people's emotions and mindsets. As of yet he didn't sense anything to worry about.

She was fidgeting now worse than before as the silence progressed. Finally, she looked back up at him, fighting the urge to stare at his gills or webbed feet.

"How're you feeling? Faint? Hungry? I brought some coffee but I didn't know if um…" she stammered off nervously before simply holding out the mug for him. Abe smiled gently at her before accepting the gesture and the cup. He took a small sip, burning his tongue a little. It was sweet, flavored with pumpkin spice creamer.

"I feel fine. How did you know what to do?" he asked curiously, sinking down to his gills for a moment. Her eyes watched in fascination as they flared and moved as he breathed. After a moment she realized she was staring and gazed back into his eyes.

"Well, you look- I mean, okay, I thought of a fish without water so I put you in the tub but then you are also a man, I unfortunately discovered," she paused in embarrassment, staring fixedly at the floor and fiddling with her sweater. If Abe could blush he'd be about five shades redder than a ripe tomato.

"What?"

"I-I-I was taking off your coat and the boots and I just didn't think-"

"You saw-"

"I didn't know! I didn't realize until it was too late. I've never met anyone like you before-"

"No, nobody has."

Valerie stopped at the slight in her words and bit her lip again. Abe was agitated that she had seen _that_ but more so that she hadn't thought he'd have one. Did he look that abnormal that he wouldn't have one of those?

"You didn't think I was a man so you had to check," he stated in a milder voice, pushing himself back to air and resting against the railing. A spark of indignant outrage flared up in her dark eyes and her lips tightened.

"How was I supposed to know? Be glad it's nicely sized, at least. If I had just seen that then there wouldn't have been any mistaking your manhood," she replied a little hotly, her voice rising in annoyance.

Abe wasn't sure how to respond to that. It was a compliment in some form or another and a retort. She had a reason to be upset of course. She did save his life and in return he practically molested and interrogated her.

He sighed lowly and shook his head.

"Listen, I'm sorry. You're about the fourth person I have ever really met and probably the only one who's ever seen…that."

"Well," she took a deep breath and shrugged. "In any case, you're alive. Is there anything you need?"

Abe rolled the hot cup between his palms, the sensitive pads registering the temperature on a deliciously painful level. He hadn't eaten in over a day but other than that he was comfortable. What he couldn't understand was why she bothered with him. He broke in, looking like a hobo then transformed into a green swamp beast before proceeding to faint.

For a few minutes he searched her thoughts, pretending to be involved with his coffee. She was profoundly concerned, confused and bewildered. A million questions raced through her head concerning his evolution, his form, her own race and who or what did this. He felt pity which annoyed him but he also felt compassion which was…odd.

"I am hungry," he said finally when he felt distress from her due to his silence. Valerie's breath hitched, beckoning him to look up. She looked wary of asking something or embarrassed that she had to ask it.

"What do you eat?"

A laugh, fuller than he'd laughed in a long while, bubbled forth, startling her severely. After a moment he smiled and shrugged.

"Anything you can, as far as I know. I'm not dead yet."

Valerie cracked her first smile, her lips spreading beautifully in an easy grin as she stood. When she left she forgot the door open, cold air wafting in from the hallway. A surge of panic electrified his arteries as he hurriedly scanned the home for other people. He found only her and a terrified dog hiding in the pantry as far as possible from him. Her parents were gone on their second honeymoon in Guam, he discovered, plucking the thought from her mind like a music chord.

From downstairs he heard her clattering about in the kitchen, running the facet and clanging pots randomly. It was a soothing, homely sound compared to the clarion bells and alarms of the Bureau. Sinking down Abe completely submerged himself in the engulfing heat, drowning out all sound. He felt all the bunched muscles twitch and relax as he inhaled heavily, tasting residual shampoo and soap. It didn't matter. All that mattered was the water, lapping and rippling gently with each breath he took, swallowing him.

The pleasant reverie Abe had slipped into came to a crash in the form of a loud, resonant thudding against the porcelain tub. He opened his eyes in annoyance, gazing up through the rippling layer of steaming water to see Valerie peering at him, leaning over the tub, tray in hand. She tapped the side with her foot again.

"Do you know that, that is the most irritating thing to goldfish?" he demanded in a mild but reprimanding tone when he emerged. She quirked a smile as she sat down on the toilet seat.

"Had a suspicion. I made Malt-O-Meal, brown sugar with butter and honey," she indicated the tray she carried, bearing a bowl of the steamy porridge along with apple slices, toast and a fresh cup of coffee. Valerie set the tray on the sink and stood again. She grabbed one of the thick towels, shaking it out.

"Why don't you dry off and come downstairs? I'll grab some of my dad's clothes. Yours are in the wash," she walked up holding it out for him. "You don't have to worry about my parents seeing you. They're in-"

"Guam on their second honeymoon," Abe finished for her as he stood and accepted the towel. Valerie's brown eyes widened in surprise and she backed up a step from him. The look of dawning fear and shock on her face stretched palely on her. Abe wrapped the towel about his waist, putting out a hand to calm her.

"It's okay. I'll explain later."

"You better cause I'm getting freaked out now."

"You're psychic?" Valerie repeated doubtfully, one eyebrow rose in mild skepticism. Abe frowned a little, trying to get comfortable in the inanely large clothes she had given him. Her step dad was a retired oil miner, now running the dozen acres of land across the street, growing tomatoes. He must be close to the size of Hellboy, judging by the way the clothes hung off of him.

"Well, I have a 'unique frontal lobe' as a friend once put it."

"Alright, I can't say I don't believe you but it is hard to swallow," she admitted, conceding as she sipped a cup of hot cider. They sat in the living room, comfortably arranged with soft low chairs and coffee tables. If 'generic' or 'boringly ideal' was a living room this would be it.

"What's hard to swallow? I'm an amphibious man-thing. You haven't found that more than a little disturbing? Don't I frighten you?" Abe asked incredulously, obvious doubt and unease evident in his tone. Valerie bit her lip in thought, her brow knitted in annoyance at his self-debasement.

"It's just a bit more frightening when someone can get into your brain. I find it scarier than something externally dangerous," she explained simply, "Nothing except you is in your mind but then all of a sudden someone is reading it like a novel."

Abe could sense from her that she was bit upset and uncomfortable with the whole thing and nodded understandably.

"I won't do it often."

Valerie snorted a laugh and took on a softer visage, the corners of her mouth turning down and her gaze lowering and saddening into a serious contemplation of him. Abe felt strange having such a look pointed at him or having it there because of him.

"So…where are you going?"

"Of all questions! To be perfectly honest, I have no idea. When I left-where I was, I just went in the opposite direction. It's hard to find a good place to disappear when you look like me."

"So take it step by step. One, you need water, probably with a year round temperature like the Pacific?"

"I've considered that."

"No one would find you there for centuries. Plenty of room and who knows, you might find others-"

"No! No, there are no others," he interrupted a bit sharply, his tone gruffer and harsher than ever. Valerie stared at him in a vaguely horrified and sad way before looking out the window to the front yard. Abe found her to be dramatically thoughtful at moments, as if she wasn't aware that she was always lost in thought.

For a few moments, he analyzed the lines of her lips and the soft curve of her cheek. Every inch of her seemed to be a shade of cream or brown like rich soil. Even her mouth was a soft brown mixed with tender pinks. The cheeks were slightly rouged with shades of cream and orange.

Valerie gazed at him again, troubled.

"How are you going to get there?"

"Walk, I suppose. Hasn't worked out too well though."

She thought about it for a moment before her face lightened up with an idea. He caught a glimmer of what it was but kept quiet out of respect.

"Alright, here's an idea and it's a bit drastic. Considering the circumstances, it might be the best," she leaned out from her seat, elbows on her knees, cup low in her hands. The collar was a bit too low, Abe dumbly realized, only when she leant forward. "I live in Montana outside of Eureka at my uncle's ranch. He died last year so I live alone there. Now, the likelihood of you getting…well, anywhere over the winter without dying is slim. It's a twenty four hour drive but at least you'll be closer to the ocean than now."

She paused a moment, seeming to consider something else as she spoke.

"In February I have a week's vacation. I can take you the rest of the way then."

Abe wasn't too sure if he liked this idea. That would mean three or four months with a stranger, a normal human being at that.

"I'm not quite comfortable with the idea of imposing upon you and your home. You barely know me," he admitted, a bit wary of how easily she shrugged it off.

"Got a better idea? Besides, I don't mind at all. I won't have to spend another Christmas and Thanksgiving alone again. Last year was horrible," she reasoned her tone light despite the sadness that suddenly flashed across it. She put up a finger when he opened his mouth to argue. "And I could use help while I'm at work."

Abe thought about his options and her proposition. In all likelihood she was right. He couldn't afford another situation like this. Next time he might be killed or turned in to the authorities. So here were the choices: Christmas in Montana or possible jail time in the B.P.R.D. facility. In all senses, he shouldn't trust her. On the other hand, she had saved his life only a few hours ago.

Valerie remained silent as he thought it out. The dog, who had been hiding amongst the peanut butter and bags of potatoes, crept past his chair, eyeing him dangerously with his hackles raised. It was a pretty, if not overweight, black lab mix with floppy ears and a short muzzle. Abe knew better than to try to pet it, especially in its defensive mood.

The dog stumped up against Valerie's leg, nuzzling up against her hand when she absent mindedly scratched his head.

"Alright, I'm afraid that I am out of options. But only if you really do not mind me being there."

"Of course-"

"You do realize the implications of me being there? No visitors, no cameras, nothing," he empathized sternly. "Think you can do that?"

Valerie raised her eyebrow at his challenge, her lips quirking.

"I think I can handle three months of that."

Abe eased back in his seat, taking a deep breath through his filter, letting it all sink in. Three months with a woman alone. He had the feeling he had no idea what he was getting into.


	4. Chapter 4

"You really do look like a hobo, especially with the beard," Valerie laughed mischievously, glancing at him from the driver's seat. Her parent's had returned the next morning to find her packed and ready to go home with her reclusive homosexual friend who hung back silently. Being adamant naïve Christians, they came to that conclusion by the way he dressed and made no attempts to hit on their daughter. Abe would've have laughed at their thoughts if it wouldn't have alerted them as to how vulnerable their minds were.

"Get used to it. You'll be looking at a hobo for the next day or so," he retorted darkly. He tugged and shifted the cursed, fuzzy thing repeatedly. "At least you don't have to wear it."

"We could stop at a Halloween store and pick up one. We could be the two guys from ZZ Top. Would that make you feel better?"

"Yes, having you in humiliation with me would make me feel better."

Valerie felt him smiling next to her and grinned. She could hear his filter whir as he breathed and began to worry. Abe could see the tiny creases form between her brows and at the very corners of her mouth. Suddenly, he was reminded of Mrs. Darling's secret kiss in the corner of her lips from Peter Pan.

"Did we bring enough water? We could stop-"

"We have enough to support a beluga whale. You worry too much," he chuckled, causing the beard to itch his nose. He sneezed and looked out the window in defeat as they flew down a winding country road, bordered by thick walls of shrubs and deciduous trees. Occasionally, it broke to reveal a field or small pond. They took a small network of back roads to avoid traffic and the larger cities.

"So…why do you live alone?" Abe asked conversationally after a moment. "Out of seven siblings, surely one would like to live with you."

Valerie tensed at that, her hands shifting restlessly on the steering wheel. Her emotions were so scrambled and furious that Abe couldn't even read them clearly. But he could see the frustrated containment of anger on her face.

"I'm sure one of them would if they weren't all married with kids. If they weren't so absorbed in their happiness, I'm sure they would acknowledge that I still breathe. I suppose you didn't pick that one up from me?" she snapped tightly. It startled him how angry she sounded. People had always been paranoid and annoyed about his ability but no one had ever been quite so prickled by it. He remained silent, feeling awkward for ever saying anything.

"Sorry," she muttered lowly a moment later. "I'm just touchy about that."

"Why?" Abe asked before he could regret it. Valerie shot him a very dangerous look from around her dark hair, one hand pushing it behind a shell like ear. "I just want to know."

Her arm's straightened out, pushing her back from the wheel as she chewed on her lower lip. Abe watched her intently, pointedly not reading what the answer was. After a few moments, she slumped in her seat, a small silly smile on.

"God, it's so stupid, really. Why? Jealousy maybe, most likely. I'm the only one in my family that's single, unmarried and aimless. I hate family reunions and when I lived in Vermont. It hurt to watch my siblings get married and watch my nieces and nephews grow up. In my life, if you aren't reproducing, you don't exist," she laughed at some inward bitter joke. "It's a horrible feeling when no one knows you're there."

"I kind of understand that. I was the only one not allowed to…live outside of my work," he struggled to explain himself without revealing the Bureau's existence. Why he didn't he wasn't sure but it felt wrong.

"Work?" she queried curiously.

Abe merely smiled at her inquiring look, revealing nothing to her. She rolled her brown eyes and looked back to the road.

"Be that way, then," she grumbled. For a few minutes they rode in silence, Valerie tapping out a vague rhythm on the steering wheel. Bored but delighted to be outside, Abe drifted his focus to Valerie to find her contemplating him. Or rather how he managed to drink and breathe at the same time while submerged. 'So if you breathe and filter through gills, would you have a separate air system tube from the esophagus? I can't see why not but then again perhaps he can't breathe and drink at the same time at all. Does he get water internally when breathes? Well, wait a minute, fish don't do that. God, you should just ask . Wait, he could be listening to me right now…Banana! Any weird looks? Nope. Maybe he isn't.'

Abe could barely keep himself from laughing when she looked at him out of the corner of her eye slyly. He praised his disguise for hiding his smile despite the much abhorred beard. Attempting to be nonchalant, he glanced over to find her smirking guiltily.

"Heard that, huh?"

"Yes, all of it. So, bananas, huh?"

"Huh?"

"Stop it."

Valerie laughed a little, shaking her head to toss her chestnut hair over her shoulder. It tumbled over her brown turtleneck sweater, seeming to meld in with the very threads.

"Yes, Abe, bananas."

"Hey, can you drive for a bit?" Valerie asked drowsily that night a couple hours past ten. The small road they drove on was completely deserted, no headlights behind or taillights ahead. Abe murmured his agreement as he trudged out of his nap by her slurring voice. Slowly she pulled the car over to the side of the road, tires crunching leaves and hidden gravel as the hazards blinked at non-existing traffic. Quickly they switched sides, dashing tiredly back into the warm confines of her car from the cold. Settling in and buckling up, Abe considered putting on the beard but instantly vetoed the thought. It was two in the morning; no one would tell.

"Just don't kill us, 'kay? I wanna live a little longer," Valerie mumbled as she curled up in the seat after laying its back down. Curling her arm under her head she wedged her knees up in the tight space between her and the center divider. He watched her blearily as she tucked a small flannel blanket from the back seat about herself and kicked off her shoes.

"I'll try my upmost to avoid random pedestrians," Abe replied in what would have been an honest voice. She snorted a dry laugh and cracked open on eye at him.

"I don't care about the people, just don't damage the ride."

Abe remained silent as he put the car in drive and eased onto the road.

"Or the passenger."

No response.

"Abe, I'm serious."

Nothing.

"Fine, I'm too tired to care," she finally yawned before promptly dozing into deep sleep. He chuckled lowly as he rested back, one gloved hand steering the wheel. It felt wonderful to sit and drive, having everything planned out for a few months, not having a mask on and a lovely woman next to him-

Whoa, Abe's brain halted in sleepy, meandering tracks. Did he just think that? Abe looked over at Valerie when he reached a straight stretch of abandoned road. Her mouth drooped open slightly from the way her cheek pushed up on her elbow. Tumbles of dark hair fell about her face and chest, moving as she breathed. When he looked closely, he noticed tiny freckles on her cheeks and pink nail polish on her oval nails.

Yes, she was rather lovely and it bothered him that he even thought so.

"By tonight we'll be home if we keep going nonstop," Abe estimated slowly, dead tired and sluggish as his straining eyes traced the map. It was his turn to sleep while she drove and he had pushed it all the way to seven a.m. He had pulled over to eat a cereal bar for breakfast when she awoke.

"You shouldn't have let me sleep so long. You look exhausted," Valerie reprimanded mildly as she leaned over the map, laid out on the hood of her champagne-colored sedan. The sun rose mistily through the trees, highlighting their harsh lines and bark and streaking through the thick curls of morning fog in a golden glow. Birds chirped brightly and rustling in the leaves echoed them as wild turkeys scrounged.

"But, but you were sleeping so well," he protested, his voice slurring in a yawn as he stretched. She cast him a small smile before folding up the map.

"Still, I'll drive the rest of the way today. Now get in the car and get some sleep," she ordered gently, her voice oddly soft. If he hadn't have been so tired he'd have tried figuring out why she looked so puzzled.

Dutifully, Abe went to the passenger side door and got in, relishing the captive warmth and the way his head spun pleasantly. Vaguely, he heard her get in and ask him if he had changed his filter recently. At his somewhat dumb sound of confirmation, he felt her pull the flannel over him, resting it about his shoulders. He enjoyed her gentle hands as they tucked the blanket about his hips and chest, making sure he was fully covered. Momentarily, it startled him when her fingers grazed his head and face. Valerie mumbled something about making sure no one saw his face.

It didn't matter; her cool fingers felt wonderful, he mused before drifting into heavy sleep.

"Abe? Abe, wake up," Valerie's voice pulled him from sleep again. Abe found that he didn't mind it really minus the fact that his whole frame was cramped and sore from sleeping in a curled position in a car seat for a day. Slowly and painfully, he sat up without opening his droopy feeling eyes, groaning a little as his back clicked back into place.

"What?" he muttered, rubbing his eyelids, feeling the leather-suede of his gloves.

"We're here."

When he pried open his heavy eyes, Abe found them on a gravel road, a white wooden fence rushing past in the velvety cobalt blue of twilight. The sky above was tinged with a light, blushing purple from the hidden sun, casting pinks upon the clouds overhead. Towering, jagged mountains loomed ahead, reaching up like teeth to devour the sun.

"How late is it?"

"About six-thirty. It gets dark here kind of early."

Abe paused and sat up straighter in his seat, reaching beside him to pull the back up.

"I've been asleep for almost twelve hours?"

"Yep," Valerie chirped before taking a gulp from a McDonald's coffee cup. She seemed quite jittery and when he glanced at the floorboard in the backseat he discovered why. At least eight different energy drinks and coffee cups littered the floor. Dear God, she must have had over two pots of coffee in her system. No wonder her hands shook and her left foot tapped out a ditty on the floor.

"There's the ranch," she interrupted his wide-eyed investigation excitedly, her words spilling one over the other. Abe looked back to find a darkened house ahead of them, the headlight revealing a long covered porch with white railing and dying vines of ivy climbing it. As they pulled up to a complete stop, dogs started howling and barking from around the side of the house.

"Let's leave the bags for tomorrow. Come on in," Valerie blurted as she turned off the engine and stumbled out of the car on unused, wobbling legs. That's it; no more caffeine for that one. "Quit barking! Mojo! Ofelia!"

Almost timidly, Abe followed suite, bringing the flannel with him for security. The dogs, he spotted jumping up and racing around a long kennel run against the house. The tension in him relaxed a degree. Most dogs were less than friendly with him.

Valerie ran up the wooden steps to the front door, tripping in the dark. He followed trudging a few steps, listening to her jangling keys as she tried the lock.

"Eyes!" Valerie hollered suddenly, her voice echoing from within the house.

"Pardon?"

Before he had time to react, a blinding light came on, hurting his sore vision and stinging his brain. Grasping the rail to the porch he gave her a vile look from under his palm. Or rather he sent a glare in her general direction since he couldn't see a bloody thing.

"Sorry. 'Eyes' means 'cover your eyes'. Come inside," her voice beckoned from the interior where another softer light clicked on. The air was slightly stuffy inside and stale from being closed up and abandoned for a week and a half. "God, it's musty. If it wasn't so cold, I'd open a window."

"I don't know. I might prefer freezing to suffocating," Abe quipped dryly. Despite the stale smell, he found her home very comfortable in a rustic, simple way. The floors were wooden, polished oak, coated in a fine layer of dust. As Valerie went about turning on lamps, the living room came into view around him. There was a corner of two couches, the leather a dark tan, accompanied by an old fashioned winged armchair and a rocking seat. Against the left hand wall was a cold fireplace with an iron grate. Hidden in the far left corner was a medium television, rather out of place, he thought. Three long and thin windows raced across the top of the wall opposite the front door. To Abe's right was a long hallway with three different rooms from what he could tell.

From the small entryway hall he stood in was an open door to the dining room, proudly bearing a long dark cherry table and a single window. From there the kitchen connected, spilling light onto the dusty table.

"You can use my Uncle's room. I cleaned out his stuff and made it into a spare room," Valerie called out from the kitchen. "I need to dust so badly."

"Not tonight though," Abe added, coming through the dining room to lean on the entry to the kitchen. It was a fairly large set up with an island bearing the stove in the center with an array of pots and pans hanging above. Shining white counters gleamed below dark cabinets. Across the way, a sliding glass door opened to the porch.

"Fine, fine, fine. You hungry?" Valerie asked as she peered into the tall, black refrigerator.

"No, I'm fine. Your Uncle's home is beautiful," Abe admitted, coming in to lean against the counter with her. Valerie tucked her hair behind her ear and folded her arms over her stomach. Nodding in agreement she bit her lip and looked about, lost in thought.

"I have barely changed it since he died. It's a bit big here, all alone," she confessed darkly, all hyperactivity gone due to the subject. "I miss him a lot."

He gave her a small smile in understanding before pushing away. Valerie's brown eyes watched him carefully, studiously as he peeled off his leather gloves and shrugged out of his long duster.

"May I take a shower?"

"Of course, there's one in the room," Valerie paused, suddenly seeming distraught now that she was back within her house's walls. Abe fought the urge to read her thoughts and find out what was wrong; he hated the way her face clouded up. He felt such a strange mix of feelings emanating from her: sadness, joy, confusion, and some deep seated frothing anger. He wasn't sure if he should leave yet due to the slightly pleading look she tried to hide from him.

"It's just weird. I haven't really been around another person for longer than a few hours since Uncle died," she muttered before laughing in a strained awkward way. "I'm not even sure how to act anymore."

"Well, if it makes anything any better, I'm not really a person," Abe said in a light, joking tone, trying to cheer her up. Valerie frowned and shook her head, her deep, troubled eyes fixated upon him.

"You are a person. You have a soul. Anyone with sentience who ponders if they have one or are aware is a person," she scolded seriously. He was taken aback by her intense severity and how her lips hardened as she spoke. "Don't debase yourself for my amusement."

Abe stared at her just about as hard, trying to hide his startled hurt, before going to the shower. Maybe his head would be a little clearer then.


	5. Chapter 5

All the lights were out except for the table side lamp in his room when he emerged from the steam-filled bathroom. It was a rather plain room, no ornaments other than the queen bed with soft quilts and a wardrobe under the high long window.

Abe tightened the towel about his waist as he walked to the bed where Valerie had laid out a clean pair of pants. There was no tub in the bathroom so he had no choice but to sleep with his respirator. Luckily, her Uncle was fairly small and his old clothes fit snugly.

"Abe?" a soft voice called from behind. He jumped a little and turned, his webbed hands fumbling to finish buttoning the jeans. Valerie stood in the doorway, one hand resting on the doorknob, the other twisting the hem of her long nightshirt. She shuffled nervously, her cheeks flushed. "I'm sorry. I know it's late but I wanted to talk to you."

A little surprised and dazed by her sudden appearance, Abe nodded and motioned her to sit on the bed. While she sat down he collected his clean inhaler and clasped it on. When he looked back to her, he found her staring at him, chewing her bottom lip.

"Alright, what's the matter?" he asked in what he hoped was a soothing tone. Agitated, the woman fiddled with the bottom of her boxer shorts, irately picking at a random string, twisting the loose cotton material in her fingers. While she collected herself, Abe gazed at her bare feet in mild fascination.

It wasn't that he had some weird fetish or anything it's just that he'd never seen bare female feet. The only ones he had seen were those of ghouls, demons and the like and generally he had better things to do than look down at them. They were so different from men's feet, let alone his. Tiny toes curled close together, painted with the same pale pink polish as on her fingers. The underneath was a soft pink-brown shade, sporting little crinkles like leaf veins.

"I'm sorry for what I said earlier," she finally stated fretfully, drawing his attention upward. Thankfully, she hadn't noticed his staring as she herself was gazing at his abandoned gloves and coat in the wardrobe.

"It's okay."

"No, it's not. It wasn't fair of me," she continued bluntly. When he cast her an odd look she elaborated. "I thought about it a lot and I shouldn't have been so harsh. I mean, I'm sure people and life hasn't been fair to you so to think yourself as-"

Abe held up a hand, the skin still wet from the shower. Valerie stopped, her mouth stammering for a moment with words long dried up and looked down at her hands. Taking a deep breath he sat down next to her on the bed, the mattress sinking between them. The angle caused her to lean towards him more which she seemed not to fight.

"I'm sorry," she repeated softly.

"Don't be. There's no need for it. I am the one who should apologize. You have been more than gracious with me," Abe amended gently. He felt her gaze on him, contemplating. "And I have been not terribly fair. I was trying to make it a joke and that was wrong. I just have problems with…being what I am."

Valerie bit her lip again and shrugged. Abe found that she did that often when she was confused or distressed. For a moment he contemplated how it might hurt to have those little teeth bit into flesh. Tearing his focus away from her reddened, bee stung lips, Abe came upon an idea.

"Valerie, I've had horrible manners. You trusted me into your home and I haven't told you anything," he said, drawing her attention avidly. He smiled a little before holding out his hand. "Let me show you something. I haven't shared it before and it'll frighten you at first. I can't promise to tell you everything but at least I can show you how I came to life."

Valerie looked timidly and a bit suspiciously at his offered hand, at the strange moss green of his palms and the thin membranous webbing that spanned between the long fingers. Holding hands is an intimate gesture in all parts of the world and to touch flesh to flesh with her unnerved Abe for a moment. He waited patiently for her nerves to catch up, praying she wasn't too frightened at touching him. There had been those moments in the car and back in Brethen when her fingertips were on her face and skull but it had been such a fleeting, bare thing.

Finally, she lifted her own hand and gently set it in his. He noticed a ring on her wedding finger for one instant before he enclosed her warm hand in both of his. Valerie jumped as if electrically shocked and gasped softly. As his memory swirled into her mind, he moved closer to brace her with his presence.

Before the memory, he watched her wide brown eyes glaze over, her mouth fall open and that damn ring nagging at him as it sat under his palm.

Cool, purified water bubbled about his frame, hurting his gills which had grown accustomed to the dirty water of that ancient tank he was found in. Every cell in his body felt half dead, stiff and limbic in recovery. Strange blue light invaded his sight slowly like a creeping fog until it forced his sore, tired eyes open. At first all he could see was large silvery bubbles dancing in the painful light, rising up and bouncing on the glass. Panic steadily coursed through him as the clutching fingers of the coma slipped away. The world outside came into focus. A console of lights and switches turned towards him accompanied by a room full of life support machines, monitoring him and blinking. He remembered that damn incessant blinking of red lights, like fireflies from hell. A pair of stone-faced men eyed him with eyes hidden behind cold glasses, reflecting the eerie blue light.

Abe tried to speak, putting his hand to the glass and forced out some silent cry. When nothing came forth from his numb lips he touched them to find a whole network of tubes and wires inserted down his throat. He could feel them against his tongue, the metal and rubber taste going down and fought the urge to vomit and rip them out along with the IVs and needles inserted into his back and arms.

"The subject's heart rates accelerated far too much. Insert another dose and sedate it," a man's monotone voice thudded against the thick glass, barely penetrated to him. He wanted to scream in frantic protest but instead watched in mute helplessness. As they carefully pierced one of the millions of tubes, Abe heard his name for the first time.

"Abe's not going to make it much longer if we keep pumping it full of sedatives," one of them warned in a cool way as if only talking about bacteria in a Petri dish. Not as if they were talking about a thinking, feeling being, no, never that. The other shrugged as he read the clipboard in his hand.

"Might as well die sedated on morphine. If we get no results, we're going to have to dissect it and find out what it is anyway."

'I am not 'It'! I am 'He'!' Abe's mind screamed desperately, even as they white fog of morphine-induced sleep prevailed. His heart pounded and he faintly banged his fist on the uncaring glass, realizing that he had just come alive and no one cared whether he was or not.

When Abe came to from the horrid memory he found Valerie staring at him with the most indescribable look of pain he had ever seen. A film of tears glazed her eyes, making the faint green in them even brighter as her lower lip quivered. He watched as the water coalesced on her eyelashes before slipping down her cheek. As it dropped off her chin, she seemed to finally break whatever stupor it had put her in, letting go of her shaking breath.

Abe released her hand a bit guiltily and looked away. He hadn't meant to make her cry nor realized that she would.

"Perhaps that was premature," he murmured in apology.

"No, no, no, Abe, no, it wasn't. I just- I didn't expect-" Valerie broke off, wiping at her eyes in shame. "I just feel so-"

"Please don't say sorry."

"Stupid. I feel so stupid for making all those suggestions about others to you," she finished. "It was insensitive of me."

"No, you were unaware. There is no shame in that."

Valerie nodded, obviously not reassured, before standing. Abe felt the warmth from her body fade away as she walked to the door, eyes vacant and her fingers rubbing together. She stopped in the dark of the hall, looking back at him as if she was lost for words.

"You know," she said slowly, gazing dazedly at him. "Your skin is really soft. It's nice. I wasn't expecting that."

Abe swallowed a bit hard, his throat dry.

"That happens when you spend most of your life in water."

Valerie smiled slightly, reaching up to twist her chestnut hair and pull it to one side of her neck. It was then that Abe saw her tattoo; a red poppy on the right side with a black stem.

"Yes, yes, I suppose it does."

With that she walked off down the hall thoughtfully and went to her room, leaving Abe feeling a bit lost and confused.

"Good morning," Abe greeted a bit carefully the next morning as he flipped a pancake with the spatula. At about seven he awoke and discovered her asleep still, the blankets twisted about her legs and dark hair a halo about her head. A bit wary of wandering about without her, he searched the kitchen for breakfast instead. Although he had never really cooked before, the box had all the directions on it.

"Are you cooking?" Valerie asked with a teasing smile, alleviating his worry that this morning's encounter would be awkward. Her chestnut hair was mussed and curled obnoxiously about her from sleep as she made a cup of coffee next to him.

"Yes, it's another one of my marvelous hidden talents," he chuckled, accepting a cup of steaming coffee from her. "Along with mind reading, psychic connections and knitting."

Valerie snorted into her cup and choked. Giggling, she wiped her mouth on the sleeve of her oversized house robe.

"Well, it smells good at least," she admitted lightly. Setting down her mug, she went behind him towards the refrigerator. Unfortunately, the way the stove was positioned in the middle of the kitchen, it allowed very little room between. Abe nearly burnt himself when she squeezed by, her chest brushing his back. One of her hands gently pressed the back of his shoulder, warmth seeping through the cotton shirt to his skin.

"I hope the syrup is still good. After breakfast, I'll show you around," she commented easily, as if she had never touched him. Kneeling down she picked out the syrup and the butter. "But after today it's going to be back to work."

"Oh," Abe muttered vaguely, paying more attention to the burning handprint on his back and the griddle. Valerie stood and set the condiments down, eyeing him in worry. The vacant, dazed and somewhat sad look on his face worried her.

"You okay?" she asked as she came closer to peer at him.

"Hmm? Yes, yes, I'm fine. So what sort of animals do you have, aside from dogs?" he asked briskly, changing the subject. She watched him for a moment before taking the pancakes he held out for her.

"My uncle raised prize Japanese chickens, about twenty of them. I sold them since I had no idea what to do with the squawking things and bought a horse and the dogs. Oh and there's one really mean ass goose," she counted off, sitting down at the table in the dining room.

"I take it that you don't like the goose," Abe observed as he sat down next to her. She smirked and pointed out the single window at the end of the table. Outside he spotted a flower garden overflowing with roses, daffodils, foxgloves and lavender. A half dozen hummingbird feeders stood in the midst of it, each feeder sporting at least eight birds. They darted about continuously, their colors flashing brilliant greens, blues and purples in the gray misty light. And under all of the commotion above was a tall, white goose, preening its feathers proudly.

"More like I hate the thing with a livid passion. Every time I have to fill those feeders, it's waiting. It's like Satan in duck form or Duckzilla," she grumbled through a mouthful of pancake. "I'm hoping a mountain lion will get it one day 'cause I'm not brave enough to do the job myself."

"That's kind," Abe commented smoothly. Valerie shrugged and smirked noncommittally.

"Never said I was kind."

"But you are," he added unnecessarily. She turned a shade of pink before focusing on her coffee. A bit annoyed and disappointed by her reaction to his compliment, he bumped her hand with the back of his wrist. Jumping a little she looked back up to his concerned frown.

Valerie cleared her throat and smiled.

"In any case, that goose is gonna die. Or I'll live in fear of it forever. Whichever happens first."


	6. Chapter 6

"Stop laughing, Abe, just stop," Valerie snapped irritably. Abe held the hose nozzle over her hands, his thumb covering the opening mostly, turning the pressure up. He sprayed off the muck as she rubbed her palms together, trying to smother more chuckles.

"I'm sorry! How was I supposed to know how easily your horse spooks?"

She gave him a vile glare, shaking her hands off the cold water. A small sardonic grin twisted the end of her mouth.

"As of yet, I am the only thing that isn't terrified of you. What made you think the horse would be as well?" she queried heatedly, a small chuckle sneaking under her scorching words. She came closer to him, still shaking her chilled hands.

"There was a slight percentile of the horse not bolting. I was merely testing the theory," he admitted in amusement. Valerie glared at him again before roughly wiping her fingers dry on his shirt, drying them on the cotton.

"Did you have to test it while I was on the horse?" she demanded with a little less venom. Abe tried his hardest to focus on her face instead of the fingers gliding, albeit roughly, on his chest.

"How's your wrist?" he asked instead, cautiously studying her left arm as she moved it. She stopped frowning at him to hold it out and twist it inward. She barely turned it before flinching and hissing between her teeth. Abe sighed, secretly angry with himself.

"Come on, sit down and let me take a look," he ordered gently, taking her other arm by the elbow to lead her. The joint stiffened reflexively in his grasp and she gazed up at him in mild confusion. He couldn't feel her skin through her cream-colored sweater but he felt her pulse rioting with nervous thrumming.

Finally, she relaxed and let him lead her to an overturned feeding bucket. He noticed that she was favoring her right leg a little as well. That tumble off the horse must have been hard. Gently he sat her down, kneeled in front of her and took hold of her hand. The flesh was chilly from the cool air and water as he carefully pulled her sleeve up to the elbow. Deliberately not looking her in the eye, he kneaded her pale flesh about the elbow. Working his way down to her wrist, he forced his heart to calm. It helped when he heard the flurry of her mixed confusion. Why this was hard and enticing he couldn't tell.

"Well, nothings broken. Just tender and sore," he observed lowly. As his eyes swept the pale skin, he spotted goose pimples rippling along it as well as an involuntary shudder that coursed through the limb.

"It's cold," she stated simply when he looked up at her. The sky had clouded over heavily from the light mist of earlier, thundering off in the distance beyond the mountains. Light rain, still a thick mist, fell on the world, dewing the grass and making all the greens around more vivid. The barn's faded red made her skin seemed more flushed as she sat against it.

"You're very good at that. You haven't hurt me once," she commented haltingly. He gave an ironic grimace at that before standing.

"I've had plenty of practice. Your pants are utterly ruined."

Valerie looked down at her jeans and shrugged. The right knee was torn open and mud coated them from the thigh down from where she was bucked off the horse. Somehow she had managed to retain only one of her sneakers, the other long gone.

"Could be worse."

"Yeah? How?"

"Could've been kicked in the head and ended up dead," she smiled a bit evilly at her rhyme before standing up gingerly. Abe rolled his eyes.

"There's a positive way to look at it," he said dryly.

"Isn't it?" she laughed sadistically, taking a step forward before her leg gave out, sending her stumbling into him. Her hand clasped the nape of his shoulder as she steadied on one leg. "Ow! Ow, ow, ow, ow! That did not hurt before."

"You probably sprained it or bruised a tendon. Hold on," Abe pulled her hand off and hauled the arm across the expanse of his shoulders. "Lean on me, Valerie. We need to get you inside."

He half hefted her up on his side and began walking them up the gravel drive to the house.

"Wow. Strong, too," Valerie murmured in a joke. Abe made some odd sound of agreement in his throat, trying to keep his mind on their staggered steps. There had been a million times where he had been flung around with Liz and Kate, had been pressed against them in battle and forced into close physical perimeters before but it had always been brief and panicked. Generally there was something attacking them and distracting them.

"The rain's getting worse," Valerie commented, interrupting his thoughts. He glanced over at her to see her head tipped back to the growling skies. Tiny sprinkles dripped onto her skin and eyelashes, pearly drops in her hair.

"Should I chase down the horse and get him in the barn?" Abe asked, stopping for a moment. She shook her head and tapped his shoulder gently.

"Nah, he can get in when he feels like it. We, on the other hand are getting soaked," she laughed, plucking at his damp shirt. Abe started limping them back up the lane.

"Well, I really don't mind it."

"Once I am inside, you can roll out on the grass in the rain, butt naked, for all I care."

Abe snorted a laugh, stumbling a little over a loose patch of gravel. His arm tightened around her waist, the fingers clutching over her hipbone as he steadied himself.

"Don't tempt me. I just might do it," he warned good-naturedly. Valerie smiled and let slip a thought that caught them both off guard.

'I wouldn't mind.'

Almost horrified in his amazement, Abe stared at her ashamed blush and at how quickly she slid away from his grasp, putting weight gingerly on her hurt leg. Silently, Valerie limped up the stairs, leaning on the rail heavily. He followed quietly, discarding his shoes with her single, muddy one.

"Let's get that leg looked at," Abe stated crisply, closing the front door. "I'll get some water heated. Go take your pants off."

Valerie stared at him in blatant surprise and offense, her mouth opened a little at his blunt command. After a moment she obeyed, glancing back a couple times as she limped to her room.

"Once again, you came up lucky. You only bruised a muscle in your ankle," Abe observed as he tenderly rubbed his thumbs over said area. He sat on his knees in the dining room in front of her chair, her bare foot resting in his lap.

"Compared to?" Valerie muttered snidely, leaning forward to wrap her arms about her knees. She wore her dark green bathrobe, tightly closed, the ends hanging about her shins.

"Oh…breaking it?"

"Touché. Well, you got my knee skinned pretty bad," she continued huffily, brushing the pink and oozing abrasion with her fingers. Abe rolled his eyes and grabbed her knee, fingers caught between the soft curve of her calf and thigh.

"Big baby," he muttered lightly before blowing on the scrape, moving the little bubbles of blood on her skin. She grimaced and shuddered at the painful sensation and secretly at the way his lips pursed when he breathed on her.

"Ow."

"Sorry. So where is work?" he asked curiously as he let go of her leg and sat back.

"I work for a collections agency."

Abe gave her a skeptical, odd look as he dabbed prescription ointment on her scrape from the first aid kit. "You're a bill collector?"

"Yeah," she smiled in mild confusion. "Is that so hard to believe?"

"A little. I thought they were…I don't know, a bit more hardcore," he admitted with a shrug. Valerie snorted and sat up to pull back her oversized sleeve. She flexed her arm to show a little muscle under the white skin.

"That not hardcore enough?" she growled in a fake macho voice. Abe laughed at her antics and she let her sleeve down. "You've seen one too many comedy shows. Not all of us are tough, ass-chewing jerks who'd kill their grandmothers for a dime."

Abe gave her a doubting look and she made a face of defeat.

"Okay, well, I'm not like that. My coworkers are a bunch of vultures."

"Then why do you work there?"

"It's a job. It keeps me afloat for the time being and it pays the bills. I mean, I hate it but-" she shrugged helplessly. A terribly sad look crossed her face. "We can't all follow our dreams like we should."

Abe sat back off his legs, crossing them and leaning on his arms, watching her as she rested her head on her folded arms upon her knees. She gazed out the dining room window, her brown eyes were soft with thought and her brow lightly furrowed. After a moment, she lolled her focus back to him.

"What sort of things did you dream of?" she asked quietly, her voice barely piercing through the din of rain on the windows. He shrugged a bit listlessly and struggled out of his damp shirt as it chilled. Goose pimples rose up on his chest and arms.

"A great deal of things like anyone else."

"What sort of things?" Valerie pried insistently. When Abe gave her a small miffed look, she raised an eyebrow in challenge. "What? You going to be a clam for the next few months? It's not like I can just read your mind and know."

He sighed, deciding not to argue with her logic.

"I dreamt mostly of…home, I guess, where ever it is and freedom," he murmured slowly, unable to come up with some flimsy lie. Valerie's gaze softened a bit and she remained silent. Abe wished she would say something. This compassion he felt from her made him so uncomfortable that he wished she would just pity him instead.

"You know, not all dreams are impossible," Valerie urged suddenly. With a tiny smile, she patted his shoulder tenderly before standing gingerly on her feet. He watched her hobble to the kitchen, muttering about hot chocolate and lunch.

"And what about you? Did you dream of being a bill collector?" Abe called after her, standing up. She gave him a mildly bewildered look as if she had forgotten the conversation momentarily, setting down a metal teapot on the stove.

"No, no, I dreamt of too many things that I could never have," she said a bit abruptly once she caught on to the question. Sharply she withdrew items from the refrigerator as she spoke. "Stupid things all girls dream of when they haven't learned what life is about."

Abe didn't like the feeling he was getting from her. That spark of barely restrained fury was boiling up in her mind, hurting her heart from the pain of it and making her eyes water in hateful tears. Desperately, he wished he would just read her mind and find out what it was that was so horrible.

"And what is life about?" he pressed quietly, half afraid to hear or see what his question fired.

"Life is work, life is bills, life is bullshit. I couldn't afford college so I got stuck with this dead end job where everyone hates me and screams at me for being an incompetent worm. The ranch was the only lucky break I got in my life," she grumbled heatedly, barely containing the growl of anger out of her low voice. With growing concern, he watched as she shakily made turkey and avocado sandwiches, her cheeks flushed in restraint. Abe slowly reached out and touched her shoulder, trying to calm her down. Jumping at the hand, the woman stared at him with narrow, reddened eyes and offered a small, forced smile. Heaving a breath, she handed him his plate and closed her eyes. After a moment she opened them, clearer now and smiled.

"You ready for some hot chocolate?"


	7. Chapter 7

"Abe? Abe, where are you?" Valerie's voice rang out through the house from the front door. Abe sat on the back porch steps to the garden, letting the heavy rain fall on him. The growling thunder and downpour hadn't stopped since the day before but several other things had. Neither she nor he discussed the subject, avoiding it like the plague. He had a nagging feeling that it had to do with the inexplicable ring on her hand.

Half turning, Abe spotted her walk into the kitchen looking for him, her long cashmere fog coat dripping water. He offered her a small smile as she walked up, running her hands over her dark braid to free moisture.

"Evening, how was work?" he asked as she sat down in a wooden lawn chair in the dry section of the porch. She rolled her eyes dryly and unraveled the long, red scarf from about her neck.

"Oh, normal. Spent nine hours listening to people call me the dirtiest names in the book and hate me for no reason," she shrugged. "One said something about 'Get thee behind me Satan' and screamed."

"Sounds like my life."

"Are you enjoying the rain?"

Abe made a content sound and looked back out across the garden, his large eyes taking in the bright flowers and the towering pines that loomed right by. Somewhere near them he heard the cackling laughter of crows, pecking through the acres of grass. It felt positively wonderful to set there and soak in the clean water, untouched and unsullied by human hands. They remained silent for the moment but Abe could feel her intent gaze on him, watching the rain drops slide off his bare shoulders and back, running in silvery rivulets. It felt odd and yet it was satisfying to be studied and analyzed in an appreciative manner. She was mesmerizing the sharp curves in his muscles and the differentiating color patterns in his skin as an artist might a painting.

When her scrutiny became uncomfortable, Abe looked back to see her look away. Valerie gazed off into the mountains that bordered the ranches acres of browned grass.

"The trees are turning colors," she said nonchalantly. "By the twentieth, they'll all be red and gold. I love when it's like that."

Abe said nothing, only nodding in mute agreement. Valerie leaned forward, hugging her legs, cheek on her knees as his silence continued.

"You okay?"

"Hmm? Yes, just a little homesick, I suppose. I've never left my old home before," he replied honestly.

"I know. I hadn't been alone until Uncle passed away. I always had my sisters and brothers or my friends except this last year," she said empathetically as she slid off the chair and sat nearer to him, still out of the rain. "Don't get the flu or something. The rain's getting kind of cold."

"I don't think I have ever been sick. Injured, yes, but sick? Never," Abe replied, starting to feel a twinge of nervousness from her sitting so close to him. "By the way, your dogs tried to eat me today."

Valerie stared at him, taken aback and horrified, before relooking him over for any bite marks.

"You don't look hurt. Well, at least as far as I can see," she gave him a slightly twisted smirk. Abe rolled his eyes at her wryly.

"No, that is perfectly intact, thank you."

"Just checking," she grinned mischievously. "What did you do to make them want to eat you?"

"Oh…I existed. They dug under the fence. I didn't realize when I went out to feed the horse," he explained flatly, stretching his long legs into the rain, heels resting on the still green grass of the garden. "I had to run a bit faster than I am used to."

Valerie suppressed a smile, vainly, tucking her hair behind an ear. After a moment she frowned and sat up a little straighter, glancing about.

"Where are my dogs?"

"Well, they aren't the brightest creatures so-"

"Abe."

"Yes?"

"Where-are-my-dogs?"

"In the barn."

Valerie raised her eyebrows in mild surprise. "My dogs are afraid of the barn."

"Oh? Why?"

"Horse. You knew that though."

"Did not."

With a disbelieving shrug she stood to go put away the probably traumatized canines. Abe watched after her, finding himself studying her calves and thighs under her jeans as she walked and the way her hands clung to her hips, pink nails dug into her sweaters hem. His eyes dropped lower and he caught himself, startled. Since when did he look at those?

Abe was still sitting there dazed in the harsher rain, pondering himself and how he was acting, when Valerie burst through the front door, soaked and shivering. He heard her grumbling about making him do it next time as she wrung out the sleeves of her sweater over the sink. For some reason he thought of how much she was doing for a complete stranger and how grateful and attracted he was to this one woman. Before he could truly contemplate and correlate the contents of his own jumbled mind, Abe stood and walked into the kitchen, sopping wet.

"Stupid rain getting my stupid sweater-" Valerie was muttering in vexation, not at all paying attention to her surroundings. A tiny squeak of surprise escaped her when two wet, strong and lean arms wrapped about her, hauling her against a firm, tall body. Neither of them breathed or made a sound for several tense moments. Only the rain pounded on the roof and the windows like a million trembling hearts. Valerie's warm body remained stiff against his and he could hear her tumble of thoughts like a slideshow of emotions: confusion, amazement and affection? When it finally came to that flurry of neurons, Valerie relaxed against him, leaning back into his bare chest, her damp sweater sticking to the skin. He could feel her heart thudding to his as he squeezed his embrace a little tighter and pressed his cheek to her wet hair.

"What's up, Abe?" she whispered softly, her hand coming up to timidly touch his.

"The ceiling."

Valerie snorted a nervous laugh before pushing back at him in a friendly shove. It wasn't too much of a good idea to him and he had to bite back a groan at her bottom pressing him.

"You know what I mean."

Abe couldn't answer as he held her even tighter. It felt so good to hold someone who wasn't in dire straits or struggling; just a warm, yielding body. She allowed it, even enjoyed it he imagined before tugging insistently on his hand.

"Abe, please, what's wrong? Are you alright?" she asked again, her voice cracking a little. He sighed against her hair, his heart feeling regretfully heavy.

"I am alright. I am more than alright and that is what is worrying me," he finally murmured in reply, feeling her shake a little in his grasp. She remained silent for a moment before wiggling loose from him. He thought she would surely leave then but she didn't.

Turning about in his loosened grip, never stepping away, she looked up at him, her deep brown eyes bright in the gold kitchen light. Her lips turned down at the corners in worry, the dark mocha color brilliant against her pale cheeks. She analyzed his disconcerted blue eyes and frustrated expression of struggling hope and disappointment.

Reaching up she ran her thumb over his creased brow, rubbing the pad over the deep green and blue patterns on his skin. It amazed him that there was not an ounce of disgust or fear in her when she touched him or gazed upon him. Valerie slowly but surely ran her palms over the sides of his skull to drape her arms comfortingly about his strong shoulders. Abe didn't move, in shock, until she rested her warm cheek on his cool collarbone. Once again he wrapped his arms about her middle tightly, drawing her as close as possible. Burying his nose near her ear, he wished he could express how much it meant that she allowed his embrace. Perhaps she knew, he couldn't tell with her mind devoid of true thought. Her tiny hands danced over his skin, absently caressing as she pressed her ear to his heart. He sighed in content, relishing the moment, embedding the memory so deep in case it never happened again. He wanted always to remember it.

Finally, after more than five minutes, Valerie pulled away, her hands coming down to clasp his forearms in a friendly gesture. Her eyes were soft and lost as she restudied him, brow puckered. Once again her thumb came up to smooth out his mild frown and he leaned into her palm, pressing his cheek to her skin. She smiled and dropped her hand.

"Don't worry so much. I think it's about time that you were 'more than alright'," she reassured seriously. Stepping out of his grasp, she walked about him, dazedly musing over dry clothes.


	8. Chapter 8

"How old are you?" Valerie asked suddenly, cutting apart the conversation they were delved in. they had been discussing Halloween traditions and its unknown implications so the change of topic threw Abe off utterly.

"What?"

"How old are you?" she repeated, looking at him owlishly. He stopped rubbing the rolling pin over the stubborn, floured dough to consider it, leaning on the counter.

"I don't know. I haven't aged in a long time. Well, not that I noticed," he admitted slowly, wiping flour and egg whites off his hands on a towel. "Why?"

Valerie shrugged noncommittally, flour smudged on her face as she carefully painted the cut sugar cookie dough with whipped eggs and powdered sugar. Halloween was but a few days away and they made cookies out of boredom. Decorations like orange and black tinsel danced along the ceiling along with fake spider webs and cardboard ghouls. It had been almost two weeks since he'd been there and each day was a little easier on them both.

"Just curious, is all. You know practically everything about me but I know almost nothing-"

"My name is Abe Sapien. I am a man-fish-sort-of-thing and I love classical music, turkey and avocado sandwiches, I've recently discovered," he interrupted in a serious, talk show voice. "I am psychic and can breathe underwater. I can't remember anything about my life or my real name but that doesn't stop me from liking long walks on the beach. Anything else?"

Stooping to put the tray of pumpkin and bat shaped cookies in the over, Valerie snorted. Abe watched the way her loose bun fell across the nape of her neck, trying hard to hold onto his annoyance at her questioning.

"Touché. Lets see, favorite color?"  
"Green."

"Naturally, mine's cobalt blue. Favorite drink?"

"Nonalcoholic?"  
"Either way."

"Not sure."

"I like eggnog and brandy or Girl Scout cookies. It's hot chocolate and peppermint schnapps."

"My turn: favorite candy bar?"

"Mm, tie between Reeses and Baby Ruth."

She missed the small flinch he gave at the reference.

"Yours?"

"Plain old Hershey's."

"It's a classic. I'm getting bored of this game," she sighed, hefting herself up to sit on the counter by the oven. Reaching into the ceramic bowl, she grabbed a small ball of raw cookie dough and popped it into her mouth happily.

"Don't eat too much of that. You'll make yourself sick," Abe forewarned as he jumped up next to her on the counter top. Valerie rolled her eyes and made another sugar pill.

"You worry too much, dad."

"And you don't worry enough."

"That's what I do: I balance out the worry teeter-totter. You'd be a mess without me," she grinned like a child who explained how a crayon strewn wall is a Monet in disguise. "There's a reason for everything, Abe."

Abe snagged her hand when she reached for the bowl again. He gave a scolding look in response to her frustrated one and pried the lump of dough from her fingers.

"No. Bad girl, stop eating that," he warned again as he picked up the bowl and set it to the other side behind him. Valerie watched him and their hands, a tiny evil smile growing. He was more than prepared when she tried lunging around him, her free hand darting around and under his elbow to snag her prize. Quick as lightening he grabbed that hand firmly, now possessing both in his cool ones. Laughing playfully, Valerie tried jerking her hands back, not getting anywhere but closer to the edge of the counter. With a startled cry, she lost her precarious perch and fell off.

More of a reaction from combat training than a thought, Abe dropped both her hands to grasp her about the waist and swung her back up. Unfortunately, his instincts didn't remind him that they weren't in dire straits with a demon trying to dice them up so he over reacted a little.

"Oof!" Valerie grunted when her back landed on the hard counter, pressing the air from her lungs. What kept it out was the very solid and prominent feeling of Abe sheltering her under him, eyes dilated in preparedness for a fight. Once the throbbing in the back of her head from where it connected with the counter started, she let a blush creep up on her. Abe blinked down at her, startled with himself and her reddened cheeks.

After a few tense seconds, Valerie breathed again, shifting a little under him. She quirked an eyebrow in wry humor to cover her nervousness.

"So…where's the train coming from, Abe?" she queried in a sarcastic tease. Abe shrugged slightly in embarrassment until he spotted her eyes welling up with tears.

"Are you okay?" he asked guiltily. She shook her head bravely, biting her lip against the throbbing pain in the back of her skull.

"I hit my head," she admitted softly, not trusting her quavering voice. Quickly, Abe got on his knees, her legs under him as he sat up, gently pulling her up as well. Tenderly, he clasped her head and assessed the damage. Bruised, definitely but not bleeding. He heard her sniffle quietly, hoping he wouldn't notice. Carefully, he lifted her face to see her smiling bravely.

"It's not so bad," she reassured him. Abe rolled his eyes despite the guilty hurt that welled up in his chest.

"You're on the verge of crying and it's 'not so bad'," he muttered to himself in disbelief. Suddenly lost in thought, he rubbed one thumb under her eye, gathering the stubborn tear. "Sorry. It was a reaction."

"You sure you're not an ex-Marine or something cause that was an extreme reaction," she laughed, dragging off into a small whimper as the giggle hurt her brain.

"Something like that," Abe smirked at the comparison, still holding her cheeks in his palms. Valerie gave him a small grin.

"Well, that teaches me for being crafty with you."

"It won't happen again."

His heart jumped up his throat a bit when she suddenly covered his hands with hers, pressing them to her flesh. The intensity that her brown eyes took on frightened him a little as she gazed at him. Abruptly, he realized that he was still straddling her lap, half crushing her but she didn't act like she minded it.

A sudden loud buzzing ring sent him flying away as if he was electrified, catching himself against the stove. Catching his balance, he stared at her in utter bewilderment, his heart thudding like a drum in his chest cavity. Valerie gazed back in feigned confusion and smiled softly.

"It's only the timer for the cookies, Abe," she said simply, sliding off the counter, swaying a bit from dizziness to go the oven. She didn't look at him again as she took out the cookies with mittens and set them to cool. As quietly as possible, Abe left, his heart still hammering at the mental vision of seeing her burning gaze. Before he went outside he caught a single thought drifting out to him.

'What did I do wrong?'


	9. Chapter 9

"Here's the completed work of our afternoon's labor," Valerie said distantly, her voice thin and a bit cold as she set down a plate full of glazed sugar cookies in the shapes of bats, witches and pumpkins. After Abe had left her in a confused haze, she had taken a good three hours to decorate them with icing, gumdrops and chocolate chips. Instead of her usual pajamas and house robe, she wore a medium length light blue slip, legs and arms bare to the chill of northern October.

Determinedly focused on the plate, Abe tried to pay her no mind as she plopped listlessly on the other side of the small couch. The events of the day still disturbed him profoundly, disorientating his previous outlook of his roommate. When he had been crouched above her, holding her heated face, her dark, clouded eyes pierced him for something he didn't fathom; something she herself didn't seem to understand. Did she want him for something? Her burning eyes that were trained on the television said yes but her cool, icy distance denied it. Was it even possible for anyone to want someone like him?

Abe cleared his throat, growing uneasy with the silent, eminent tension in the air. "They look good."

"Yeah."

Abe suddenly wished he was bolder, more confident and suave but he wasn't. He couldn't say the things or ask the things as smoothly and dashingly like the actor in the old black and white film, The Son of Monte Cristo. Even with the movie on mute, he could tell words of confidence and seduction flowed from the actor's lips like wine.

"Abe?" Valerie whispered suddenly, her voice low and thoughtful. He finally looked at her in wary anticipation. She continued to stare fixedly at the screen where the mute carriage chase ensued, lights flickering like silver in her eyes and on her dark soft hair. He really wished the lights were on; it was less secretive and intimate than the half-lit dark.

"Yes?"

"Would you show me another memory?"

In stunned silence, he sat and considered her request.

"What do you want to see?"

"Surprise me," she replied quickly, turning to look at him fully, her eyes depthless and pleading. He pressed his lips together in temptation as she held out her shaky hand and waited a bit impatiently. Thinking carefully, Abe considered what he could share with her; it was difficult to find a memory without his ex-teammates or some government secret. 'Surprise me…' Deciding quickly on an alternative, he grasped her fingers and pushed the hidden memory to the surface.

It was warm, the air heavy with sweet pollen and the smell of grass, lying thick on your skin like a heated kiss. Abe found himself in a memory that wasn't his. He stood in the same living room with sunlight pouring through the windows, falling and sparkling on the pollen grains in the summer breeze. Music played from somewhere down the hall, bright and echoing. Sinatra…

On the mantelpiece was a framed picture he hadn't noticed before, perhaps because it wasn't there now, and reached up to hold it. It was then that he realized that he was viewing the world through Valerie's eyes and that the hand touching just the edge of the frame was her body. He looked at the weathered picture from the '70's of a young couple in front of a surf board shop, holding their boards. White sands were under their suntanned feet and a dread-locked man sat lazily nearby. A young pretty brunette stood with her arm touching a slightly nerdy-seeming young man with big glasses. Mom and Dad…

"Hey, Val, you hungry? It must have been a long drive," a voice called from the kitchen, old and cracked like good earth. He turned to see a man, Uncle John, come around the corner, reading the instructions on a Marie Calendar Pot Pie, bushy eyebrows knitted together.

Uncle had a balding head with a mess of silver curls, obnoxious about his ears and neck. Despite being nearly seventy years old he had a bounce in his step and a youthful sparkle of easy jokes in his baby blue eyes. A flood of warmth enveloped Valerie's mind and heart as she looked at her relative, gratitude seeping in her smile.

"Yeah, I'm really hungry," Abe heard Valerie's voice coming from his throat, soft and hiding sadness under her light tone. Uncle's face crinkled in a pleased smile, boyish in helping her in some way. He set it down on the dining room table, covered mostly in moving boxes labeled 'Val'.

"We'll leave the packing for tomorrow. I'm old and lazy. Let's watch a movie," he laughed, wiping his wrinkled and rough working hands on his faded jeans. Abe felt Valerie's heart swell and her eyes water with love and gratitude for his kindness as she approached him. He was almost amazed at how much immense affection this woman could feel for another. It was almost painful, he realized.

"Alright. Thank you so much for everything, Uncle. You don't know what it means," she replied softly, her voice cracking under strain. Seeing it in his niece's tired face, the older man opened his arms for her. Abe shivered a little when he felt himself clasp arms about the man's shoulders, inhaling his scent of Old Spice and cigars.

"Anything you need, baby girl. I'm gonna take care of you now so don't you worry about him no more," firm hands rubbed her back consolingly. "You just remember that he didn't deserve you."

Abe felt her sniffling and choking on tears of sadness which quickly turned to rage. Frame trembling, she held her Uncle tightly.

"I know. But I loved him."

"Oh, baby girl, it's not your fault. The doctor-"

Uncle's voice cut off abruptly as the memory dissolved like dust to the wind. A scream of outrage and pure pain rang in his ears as Abe blinked and refocused on reality. Valerie wrenched herself away from his hand, backing away. A look of trembling anger and ferocity quivered on her pale, drawn face. Casting suspicious, hurt glares at him and into her memories, she walked about the room like a caged animal, desperate for some escape. She ran her fingers through her thick hair, twisting it and pulling it for the reassuring pain. Abe watched her worriedly, wondering what sort of mess he had gotten himself into by coming up here.

After pacing the living room a couple times, Valerie finally took a deep breath and calmed herself, bringing color back to her cheeks. Planting her hands on her hips, she stared at the gleaming floor where the light from the television danced, lost in thought.

"Sorry, I…" she trailed off, unsure of how to explain to herself. Abe didn't know what on earth got into his head to think it was okay to jump into a random memory in the place where her Uncle died. A moment of tense, unsaid strain passed between them before Valerie finally looked up to him. A vacant, sad look now possessed her, making her mouth soft and her eyes glazed in thought.

"I'm sorry. I just couldn't bear to hear him talk about that."

"What happened to you?" Abe asked out loud, his thoughts never meaning to leave his mouth.

"Nothing that is of any importance," she replied stiffly, her voice clearly indicating that what her Uncle was saying is private to her. Abe decided not to push it. Feeling horrid for pressing past her barriers and bringing up her past, he timidly patted the couch next to him. After a moment, she complied, melting into the cushions as if she was exhausted physically.

Silence ensued between them once again, more easy to bear than the last time. Watching the old movie blankly, Abe though of how these films will play on and on unaware of what goes on outside that metal box. He risked a glance up at her to see her crying quietly, tears streaking her pale cheeks and dripping off her stubborn chin. Apparently she felt his eyes on her and began to tremble, ashamed of her tears and her weakness. Abe went to put a hand on her shoulder in comfort but never got the chance to touch her.

Murmuring his name, Valerie slid over and curled up against him, pressing her face to his collarbone as her arm wrapped loosely over his stomach. Freezing in mute shock, Abe felt her hand clasp his shirt tightly and felt tears soak into it as she hiccupped on suppressed sobs. Not knowing what to do, he rubbed her shaky back, her body half in his lap. He hadn't meant to make her cry.

"I'm sorry. I just miss Uncle so much and-and I couldn't hear it. I couldn't bear to hear what was next," she choked out, trying to conquer her sadness. He put one hand on the back of her head, his free arm anchoring her to him securely as he gained confidence. She hadn't tried to get away and he wasn't about to push her from him.

Slowly, her breathing grew steady again and she relaxed against him, her muscles twitching from post-stress. He squeezed her tightly to him again, hoping she understood that he was sorry. Carefully, he leaned back to rest more comfortably against the arm of the couch, keeping her against his chest. With hers, he stretched his legs out, trapping her against him and the couch.

For a few minutes, the lay there together, silently watching the last ten minutes of the film, her head resting on the junction of his arm, fist curled to his collar. As the movie clicked off, Abe treasured the warmth of her and her sweet smell of tears and Shea butter.

Valerie sat up, one hand on the couch and the other on his chest, supporting her upper body. She froze when she realized how close that brought their gazes together. Abe could feel her staggered breath blow gently on his cheeks and lips, blowing gently. His own mouth fell open a bit to try and taste her and that made it even worse. Sugar and tears was all he could taste and smell, flooding his senses and making electricity pound through him.

Valerie's dark brown eyes locked onto his parted lips. Her brow suddenly creased in soft confusion and she sighed. Abe was about to ask her what was wrong now but again he never got the chance. All the air whooshed from his lungs when her lips suddenly crashed down on his, soft and imploring. His head spun and his body went numb to everything but her hands burning through his shirt and her lips tenderly scorching his.

As abruptly as it came, the kiss ended. Valerie pulled back, her eyes glazed and unfocused as they ran over his bewildered expression. Reality slid back into them, her pupils dilating in shock and she inhaled sharply. When she tried to get up and away, Abe put his hands over hers (hoping the webbing didn't frighten her) to keep her in place.

"What?" he asked softly, still stunned and tingling.

"I don't know why I did that," Valerie confessed a bit darkly, her hair falling over her shoulder and against her face. One of Abe's hands slid up her bare forearm, skirting the pale hairs on it, to cup the nape of her neck. The woman shivered at the touch of his skin on hers and stared at him.

"I don't know how you could stand it."

She looked a bit surprised at that and smiled in mild embarrassment.

"It was quite easy, actually. I'd been wanting to do that for a long time."

"I could tell. But how could you want to?" he pressed further, unable to shake the nagging insecurity in the back of his unsure mind. He held out his arms so she could see him fully. "Look at me."

Valerie's eyes softened as she gazed at him affectionately. She smiled a little before putting her hand over his calmed heart.

"I am, Abe. And I feel a beating heart, soft, male skin. I see two eyes the prettiest shade of blue," her fingers slid up his chest as she spoke, caressing his shoulders before going to his confused brow.

"Two very soft, untouched lips," she brushed her fingers over them, trembling at the light touch. Abe's breath faltered when she stopped touching him, looking ashamed of herself. "I'm sorry."

He caught her just as she moved to leave. Holding her arms above the elbows, he sat up straight, bringing her to him. Not thinking of the consequences, Abe kissed her again, more forcefully and sure despite his acrobat heart. Almost immediately, she moaned softly in surprise and freed her arms to wrap them about his shoulders. The kiss was gentle and shy at first, lips moving and tasting little by little. Being daring, Abe traced the seam above her lower lip with his tongue, asking for permission. After a moment, she let him in, meeting his timid tongue with her curious one. The feel and taste of her mouth made his head reel. Could this really be happening? Was a woman willingly kissing him, crushing herself against him, her chest heaving from lack of air?

The world spun dizzily as she fell back on the couch, dragging him down on top of her. Yes, like that. His skin positively crackled with electricity as if his nerve ends would fry right out of him. Some small sound of need, of want escaped him as their mouths tasted and melded. It almost embarrassed him how much of his desiring, lonely heart was in that sound until Valerie sighed delightfully and slid her palms down his chest.

It wouldn't last, he knew, this euphoria. It would fade like morning dew to the harsh sun. No good things stay or last for long for the people who want it most. This scarred him, her soft lips and fingers that caressed his stomach under his shirt like hot, tingling brands. Something in him snapped, sanity or whatever else was restraining him and he clasped his hands in her thick hair.

Valerie's mind was racing like a desperate bird, a delirium of desire, dizzy affection and loving confusion. The tinkling, crazed clashing both their skulls made thought impossible as her legs wound over his thighs, heels to the back of his knees, trapping him firmly to her.

Panting, Abe pulled back for a moment, unable to bear the intense sensation of her hot form pressed against him. He wished he had his respirator but would rather suffocate in her soft arms. Resting his forehead on her bare shoulder, he nibbled and bit the soft nape of her neck, reveling in the taste of her skin. Goose pimples raised all over her body and tremors raced in the hands which ran under his arms to caress his strong back. Pure bolts of sensation caused him to arch into her light touch. After a moment her exploration shifted to his chest again. A shrieking spark of arousal ran through him when she brushed a nipple.

Valerie kissed his brow to get his shattering attention, lips seeking his again. When they slipped together again, she sighed into his mouth, hips arching up and thrusting against his. He choked at the sensation, his breath lost and gone and he pressed back, unable not to. Biting her lip softly, his hips thrust back into the cradle of her legs, bruising them both.

Their bodies crushed together, tiny moans and sighs of lust echoing in the dark. It was too much, too much, Abe thought. He was going to die there, with their hearts pounding and singing together. It felt like they were racing each other to some end, pulsing faster and faster as their lips danced and bodies strained.

"Stop, please, stop," Abe panted desperately, pulling back just enough to breathe, his bruised lips brushing hers. Unwillingly, Valerie relaxed back, her breathing staggered and hard on his skin. He could barely see her but he could feel the slight sweat on her and the tangled mess of her hair brushing his brows. Soft hands grasped and rubbed his shoulders as her bare feet cupped to his. It nearly broke his over-exerted heart when her toes rubbed against his, webbing and all.

What had he done to deserve this? He wondered dazedly, softly kissing her face, over her eyelids and ears. This lovely woman and her eager, tender affection nearly killed him, he realized.

"I'm sorry, I can't. Not yet, I can't."

Valerie smiled, his mouth could feel it when he kissed her softly, chastely. Lazily, her arms wrapped about his shoulders, fingers sweeping over his bare skull.

"Come, go to sleep, Abe," she whispered soothingly, relaxing under him. Resting carefully on her, he felt her gentle breathing and soft sighs as she slid into unconsciousness.

For Abe, sleep took a bit longer than a second.

"Abe? Abe!" Valerie's worried, scared voice ushered him into consciousness, soft and pleading. Sleepily, Abe blinked his large eyes a couple times, dilating to the near dark of the living room. A light shined from the hallway, giving him a headache and making him dizzy. He rolled to his side to find her standing by the couch, shivering in the 4 a.m. cold. In her hands was his filled respirator, ready for him to put on. Mildly confused and dazed, Abe stared at it then to her scared, pale face.

"You weren't breathing well. I got scared," she said, her lips trembling a bit. A tiny flare of affection warmed him at her concern. So did other things, he noticed, as he gazed at her bare legs, quivering under her blue slip. He found himself staring at the highlighted swell of her breast, accented by the light seeping down the hall.

Sitting up, he found himself gasping harshly, his throat rough and sore like he had smoked a pack of cigarettes. Valerie instantly came up, clasping it on for him, her fingers trembling. As soon as the flood of cool, clean water flowed through his gills, Abe grasped her hands in one of his, calming her. She sat next to him, her wide brown eyes searching his for pain. Smiling he cupped her cheek under her hair, brushing his thumb over her bottom lip.

"You okay? You look scared to death," he murmured in worry. Valerie flickered her eyes away, hiding her thoughts. Abe resisted the urge to kiss her, steal her bottom lip back into his mouth from her sharp teeth as she bit it.

"I'm fine. You just stopped breathing and I got freaked out," she repeated in a much calmer tone. After a moment she looked back up to him, a question burning her internally. He braced for whatever it was, not even wanting to read it from her mind.

"Why couldn't you?" Valerie finally asked, soft, sad and hurt. Abe flinched at that but her trailing thought had him squeezing his eyes shut. 'Am I so horrible?'

"No, you aren't," that was all he could admit to with the shame and embarrassment flooding him. He couldn't even look at her or open his eyes while he spoke to her on this subject.

"I'm not trying to pressure you or anything but why? I keep thinking about it," she pressed, her hand squeezing his reassuringly. Abe pressed his lips tightly and tried his hardest to ignore her pleas, brows knitting in frustration.

When the pressure on his cold fingers quit, Abe felt her stand and he sighed heavily, presuming she had left in disappointment or anger. Damn it all, he wanted to tell her how much he longed for her. For how long he had been secretly lusting after the woman he wasn't sure but he knew right now that it was almost unbearable.

When her hands touched the firm padding of his chest and her legs straddling his hips provocatively, Abe jumped, his eyes flying wide open in mute shock. Staring up at Valerie, he swallowed hard, his throat suddenly terribly dry and cottony. The feel of her pliant bottom on his thighs and her hands rubbing down his chest to his belly made him shiver and flinch like he was being kicked in the gut.

The worried frown that generally donned her was gone, replaced by a mischievously beckoning smirk. Flipping her chestnut hair over her bare shoulder, she leaned forward, chest pressing to his, lips an inch away.

"Can you ignore me now, Abe?" she asked in a quiet breath before kissing him gently. Abe tried really, really hard to do so but it was difficult as she kissed and licked his lips before attacking the tender skin of his shoulder. He squirmed as screaming bolts of arousal shot down his neck and ribs to his gut, turning his breath shallow.

"Can you?" Valerie asked again, her lips caressing the sensitive inside of his elbow as she lifted his arm.

"No," he groaned in a gravelly plea, shivering when her teeth bit the tender skin. His heart leapt up his throat at the sensation of her tongue swirling there. How could she be so sensual and drive him to this brink of insanity so easily? The very sight of her dark lashes over her heated brown eyes as she shifted her kisses to the spot above his nipple sent his blood boiling. No, no good.

As gently as possible, he grasped her arms and pushed her back from him, bringing him a little sanity. Closing his eyes, he sighed deeply through his nose, focusing on his rioting heart and scattered senses. "Hold on just a moment."

Valerie settled back, her bottom on his knees. He could feel how much her desire had taxed on her patience with him and it made his control slip even more. After a few moments, Abe looked up and met her heated, hurt gaze.

"I don't understand. Do you not want me?" she asked in what sounded like a growl. Abe tried hard not to stare at her bee-stung, reddened lips and her flushed cheeks.

"Oh, I do. More than you can feasibly understand."

"Then why?"

"I…I haven't…" he trailed off. He couldn't say it. It was too embarrassing at his age. For a few moments, Valerie sat there and watched him in heart-broken vexation, trying to piece together what was wrong with her. Slowly, her confusion melted into astounded understanding as his turned to horrific disappointment.

"You've never...?"

"No, I haven't."

"How haven't you?" she asked in amazement.

He gave her a glowering glare for that innocent question.

"Not everyone finds as attractive as you inexplicably do, Valerie. Most people wouldn't even touch me let alone bed me," he replied crisply. Gently but firmly he settled her off his lap and to the couch. She didn't say anything as he stood to go back to his room. When an imploring hand clasped his wrist, he didn't dare look back to her.

"But you do want me?"

"Yes, I do."


	10. Chapter 10

"Well, that was a brilliant way to start off the day," Abe growled to himself in sharp annoyance, practically steaming himself into poached fish in the shower. After the morning's escapade, he had locked himself in to his room and avoided contact. Valerie would be home soon from work and he still wasn't sure what to say or feel about the whole thing. How awkward will it be now that they both are aware that the other desires them?

Banging his clenched fist once more on the steam-slicked wall, he turned to put his back to it. The hot water soothed the taunt muscles and tense flesh of his shoulders and chest as it pounded down. Despite all the frustration and annoyance mixed with wistful thinking, he grumbled inwardly, it was still there. He glared down at his nude self in disgust. Never imagined he'd have to deal with human nuances like…that.

Sighing, he ignored it again and shifted his head under the falling water, trying to knead out the growing headache. Due to the loud roaring in his ears, he never heard the bathroom door opener the sound of clothing falling. In fact, he was so lost in hazy, lusting day dreams that he didn't even hear the semi-clear glass door to the shower slide open and close.

The only thing that grabbed his unfocused attention was a dry, teasing hand sliding up over the right side of his ribcage. A loud startled yelp escaped him as he jumped and whirled around, practically flinging himself against the chilly wet wall. Valerie smiled at him innocently, her hair mussed from work as she pulled it to the side of her neck, flashing the red poppy tattoo.

Abe stared in slight horror and shock, his heart fluttering like a drunken anvil in his chest. As if he wasn't even there, she ignored him and reached up to angle the shower head over her pointed her face into the hot spray. Unable to speak let alone make a disgruntled noise, Abe covered himself as much as possible with his hands.

Despite himself, he stared at her nude form, so readily displayed in front of him. Water from her soaked dark hair ran in rivulets down her shoulders and chest, dripping off the undersides of her full breasts. He watched the water glisten over dark, mocha colored nipples and on her flat belly and broad hips. A thin stripe of dark, trimmed hair led down at the apex of her thighs to something hidden Abe had never seen before except in anatomy books.

She turned to face the glass door, her hair streaming down her back, giving him a better view of her creamy back and the round globes of her bottom. Abe choked a little at the sight, his hands not big enough suddenly.

"Wha-what are you doing?" he rasped out, his voice harsh and rough from restraint. Valerie tilted her head back, one eye opening to look at him coyly. She shrugged, causing her flesh to bounce distractingly.

"Showering."

"Yes, I-I can see that. But why are you showering in my room?"

"Why not?"

"Alright, Valerie, stop playing games, damn it. What are you doing?" he finally demanded, voice tight and tired of her flippancy. She caught onto his frustration and her playfulness washed away. The smile dropped and her eyes softened as she turned to face him fully. Swallowing hard, she forced a step closer, into his personal space. A sudden nervousness possessed her hands as she wiped water out of her eyes. The shower landed on her shoulder, bouncing off in a spray of crystal drops.

"I know you've never been in this sort of situation before but I don't think you should run from it," Valerie said a bit bluntly, her tone soft and understanding. Abe opened his mouth to protest but she cut him off. "I'm not saying 'Let's jump into bed and screw till morning'. I just think…"

She paused, trying to think of the best way to say it. She smiled again.

"That a little experimentation would do you some good."

Abe gawked at her, his mind unable to focus. She took advantage of his stunned silence to come much, much closer. Gently she ran her wet fingers over his tensed shoulder down his arm to his hand.

"Relax. I won't bite," she promised, her consoling eyes locked on his terrified ones as she pulled his grasp away from his lower section. Not looking down, she carefully put her arms about his stomach and leaned up to kiss him.

It was too hot, too insane for Abe to keep full control of himself, especially with her willing, wet body pressed against him. Almost instinctively, his hands hitched onto her hipbones, thumbs almost bruising, as he pulled her closer. The meeting of wet skin…Valerie groaned low in her throat at the sensation, the vibration running through her mouth to his tongue. After a few moments his lips found their way to her earlobe where he nipped her a bit sharply. She gasped and bucked into him, pelvis to pelvis. To hold back a cry at the feel, he suckled the earlobe into his mouth, drawing hard. Valerie's hips arched into his and her head fell back, giving him complete access to her neck which he attacked hungrily.

Curious, rough fingers ran up her hips and ribcage, brushing the underside of her breasts. Abe paused, lips against the dark bruise on her neck, his eyes almost black from dilation in desire. She squirmed in his grasp, begging for more caresses. When he didn't proceed, she drew a hand up his muscled thigh, fingers brushing inwards.

Despite the suffocating heat of the shower, chills ran up his spine and he cupped her round breasts in his palms. Marveling at the soft heaviness, he ran his thumbs over the perk nipples. When she sighed in appreciation, he pinched and rolled them harshly, drawing another fluid arch into him.

Almost violently, he spun them so she was pressed into the corner between the cold, slick wall and his hot body. Lips locked savagely as his hand slid down to her bottom, squeezing and lifting. Mindlessly, Valerie's head banged back against the wall. Her leg came up to wrap about his hip, drawing him closer. Abe gasped roughly when he rubbed against her heat and pressed painfully back, unable not to. A pressure started to build in his lower spine, stopping all blood flow above his waist. His head was spinning, his breath was short but none of it mattered. All that mattered was the rhythm they had, moaning, straining, rubbing.

Abe's legs buckled under him but he kept going, unsure if he could stop. Her wet, slick flesh called him to an end, one he wasn't sure if he could handle. Valerie's breath grew shallow and short, her hands and hips eager and urgent. The pounding of his heart went faster each time their separate skins collided and the pressure grew more and more painful. It had to end, he pleaded, this strain, this delicious agony had to come to an end. He just didn't know how.

Shuddering violently, Valerie's hand slid between them and grasped him firmly. A ragged gasp escaped him and the world spun brightly. He felt her name whisper from his dry throat as he leaned against her heavily, his body weak and quaking.

Vaguely, he felt her cradle his head against her sticky neck with clammy hands. He felt her heart pound restlessly against his, her wet chest meeting his when she breathed the hot air.

Abe shuddered in loss when her leg dropped from his waist to support her shaky form. A tired, content sigh echoed his as they held onto each other.

"Was that so bad?" Valerie asked in a breathless laugh. Abe leaned back as much as his dizzy balance would allow to look at her. Strands of dark hair clung to her cheeks and neck, half covering the dark hickey on the right side. She smiled at him sleepily and he found it easy to grin back.

"No, but the mess is," he commented in a weak chuckle, motioning between their sticky forms. Valerie laughed at that and brought a hand to her mouth, suckling on a slicked finger. Abe felt a purely sexual stir at that and a renewal of energy. She stopped at the feral gleam in his dilated, darkened eyes.

"Let's wash up and go to bed."

The light fell golden upon the soft hairs of Valerie's neck as she slept, moving slightly from Abe's breathing. She felt so warm, lying on his arm and snuggled back to his chest. Quietly, Abe watched his free hand as it glided over the curve of her mildly bruised hipbone, barely touching her. In her sleep, she sighed and wiggled her back against him. Swirling his finger over the red flower on her neck, Abe frowned.

What now, he wondered vaguely. Everything felt misty and unfocused like some pleasant dream that he knew was real. The dark color of his mottled green hand against her soft, cream skin was real. Real…it almost frightened him how wonderfully detached yet alive she made him feel with her breathing in rhythm with his. As if nothing else existed: no B.P.R.D., no cruelty of the world, no pain. Just them. He knew better than to delude himself but it was hard.

He had to leave when February came around, he knew that. What would become of them if he didn't? Valerie would be forced to choose between the world that held her family and any future children she could have and him. She'd never be able to take him to meet her parents (for real this time), never have children in her short lifetime or go into public.

No, this couldn't go any further than it already had. Inside his chest cavity, his heavy heart felt as if it weighed a million pounds. Gently, he dug his fingers in her mess of mussed chestnut hair, glinted golden in the light and buried his nose into it one more time. The arm she laid on curled over to cup her waist and pull her closer against him. A tiny sound of protest whimpered from her but she remained asleep.

Abe almost wished she would wake up and stop him, beg him not to go. It was stupid and proud but he did. He wanted her to wake up as he held her tight against him, treasuring her warmth and smell. Valerie barely responded to his embrace other than a sleepy sigh.

This was too hard as it was. February would kill them both, perhaps literally in his case. He had to leave now. Tenderly, he kissed the nape of her neck, savoring the feeling against his lips, knowing her poppy was to his mouth. A lump grew in his throat, breaking his resolve a little.

"Goodbye."


	11. Chapter 11

Within a half an hour, Abe had collected all his belongings and one of hers. The flannel blanket from the car he took, hiding it in his pack. It reminded him of her sheets, warm and soft. Before nine in the morning he had walked down to Eureka, beard in place like it had been little under a month ago.

"Well, just my luck," Abe muttered in heavy annoyance, eyes looking to the gray heavens. It had taken an hour, just and hour and the clear morning turned into a snowy one. White flakes drifted down lazily, landing on his duster and hat to stick and cling. It generally would have cheered him, the close air from the clouds and the gentle dance of snow. But it didn't. Survival wasn't even on the top of his priority list anymore. His mind kept drifting like the snow banks back to where he had awoken, warm in Valerie's bed.

Not really caring about spooking people with his appearance, Abe walked into town in broad daylight, his boots scuffing in the sludge. Like the snow, his mind was a whirl of thoughts and confused emotion. Why was every step he took so hard? He had known her barely a month and he was dreading this departure. No tears came like they did in the movies just a heavy, painful resignation to what he could never have.

About a quarter of the way down Main Street, Abe ran into trouble; trouble in the form of a thin brunette and a very tall red man with a tail. Shocked to the point of a heart attack, Abe stopped in front of a McDonalds, two stores away and stared. What on earth? How the hell did they find him? They stood talking to a very paranoid looking sheriff, trying to coax some answers from him. But at the sight of Hellboy's large gauntlet of stone and his sanded horns must have glued his tongue to the roof of his mouth.

Frantically, Abe scanned their minds before they noticed him standing there stupidly, feet freezing. They were looking for him of course and were describing the general look of his disguises. Guess the B.P.R.D. still didn't want him exposed to the general public. Suddenly, his decision to leave Valerie seemed a bit hasty.

Especially, when the officer cast a sideways glance at him before pointing mutely.

Not even waiting to see if they looked, Abe spun on his heel and ran as fast as he could with the thick, sodden boots. Over the loud sounds of his steps on the wet concrete, he heard Liz and Hellboy call out for him as they took up chase. He darted around the fast food joint and ran full out across the empty parking lot, slipping once or twice. He felt a little bit of sick satisfaction when he heard Hellboy's tremendous weight fall on the thick ice and heard him cuss in his deep, gravelly voice.

"Stupid, crappy ice! Stupid, crappy Montana! Abe! Stop!"

Not a chance, Red, Abe thought before he less than gracefully leapt over a dead hedge to another lot. This was bad; really, really bad. Due to the ice he managed to skate and put a good few minutes ahead of them by dodging around cars and buildings.

Once he reached the road back to Valerie's ranch, Abe sped up, freezing cold and miserable. The chill stiffened the muscles in his legs as he continued, making each step strenuous in the gale that swept up. If he slowed down they would find him. Thankfully, the pummeling snow covered his tracks but unfortunately, it was also falling harshly, like broken glass to the skin.

Despite the cold-hardened muscles, Abe sprinted for the house, ignoring the snarling dogs who barked from the safety of their kennel. In his hurry, he burst through the front door, shedding the beard roughly as he did.

"Valerie? Valerie!" he yelled loudly, slamming the front door and locking it. Putting his back to it, he peered out the thin, long side window to see if they were out there. They found him. Somehow they found him.

"Abe?" Valerie said in dumb amazement from the hallway. Abe went to just glance at her but stopped when he did. She had the quilt from his bed wrapped loosely about her naked waist, pulled up to cover her chest. Tangled, brown hair fell about her drawn face and trembling shoulders. It was a pleasant sight to be sure but her look of confused agony ruined it. Tear streaks ran down her pale cheeks from sad reddened eyes.

"Valerie? Are you okay?" Abe asked in concern, so stunned by her distraught appearance that he forgot what might've caused it. She didn't move when he came close and put his gloved hands on her neck and face. She only stared at him in silence; tired, sad and thoughtful silence. When her lips turned down at the ends he remembered.

"You didn't even say goodbye," she accused softly in a whisper. He rubbed his thumbs over her soft, damp skin, starting to grow frantic as he thought of Hellboy and Liz coming.

"I know. I'm sorry. Valerie, we have to go now. I can explain later," he replied quickly, letting go of her to rush back to the door and peer outside, coat dripping melted snow everywhere. "Hurry!"

Silence. She must have left to get dressed.

"No."

A bit stunned, Abe looked back to find her fists white from clenching the blanket, her mouth a hard line. She was really upset with him.

"Valerie, please-"

"No! I am not going anywhere. I will stand here, butt naked, until you tell me what is going on," with that she dropped the quilt and put her hands on her nude hips. Abe resisted the urge to stare at her. Instead he walked past her, down the hall to her room. He would dress her by force if necessary.

"There isn't time for this. I promise, I will explain-"

"Abe, I am sick of this. I am tired of never knowing what's going on. You don't tell me anything. I am not moving until-" her brash, upset statement was cut off by a loud knocking on the front door, rock grinding against wood.

Abe turned about, heart racing, to see Valerie look over, confused. Her face blanched and her mouth dropped open in a humiliated, terrified scream. If it hadn't have been for the situation, the sight of her naked body bolting down the hall would have been a wonderful distraction. Abe heard her cuss and swear under her breath as she frantically flung on clothes.

"Abe? Abe, I didn't mean to scare her! How was I supposed to know she'd be naked?" Hellboy's gruff voice hollered through the door to him. Abe peered about the corner of the hallway to see the demon peering right back at him through the window. "Abe!"

"Shit," Abe grumbled, trying to think of the best escape route.

"Who the hell is that?" Valerie hissed in embarrassed fury as she crept up next to him, fully dressed. Abe grasped her upper arm in warning when she attempted to lean about him to see.

"An old friend," he replied quietly, contemplating how to get across to the backdoor without being seen.

"He looks like-"

"Yes, I know."

"Is he-?"

"Yes, he is."

She gaped at him before her eyes narrowed in annoyed realization. "That's what you were hiding? God, I thought maybe you were a psycho killer or on the run from a lab."

Abe stared at her in blatant shock.

"And yet you sound relieved."

"I am."

She was miffed at him to be sure but not quite so mad now that she was informed. Abe opened his mouth to say something but never got the chance. A loud snap alerted them as Hellboy broke the doorknob off, grumbling in a thunderous tone. Again Valerie's face blanched and she ran for her room. Abe followed quietly, hearing Liz bitch at HB for breaking the door.

"Can't you not break anything?"

"How were you going to open the door?"

"What do they want?" Valerie whispered frantically as he closed the door and locked it. Not that it would do any good, he supposed. He heard Liz call for him.

"Go through the window."

"What?! Are you crazy? Its seven feet up," she hissed, backing towards it anyway as the door knob jiggled.

"C'mon, Blue, I don't want to break another one. We need to talk," Hellboy said loudly.

"Nothing to talk about, Red. Now, please don't break my friend's door again," Abe replied sternly. There was a brief silence on the other side.

"Now, now, buddy, either talk to me or the agents coming up from New Jersey," Red forewarned. That stooped Abe for a split second. He glanced at Valerie who managed to glue her back to the wall. She nodded slightly, looking pale.

"How did you find me?" Abe immediately demanded once he opened the door. Hellboy grinned in accomplishment before walking in, eyeing Valerie in vague embarrassment.

"There's a tracer in your water filter. Manning had it installed a few years ago. Now put away those fangs and calm down," he laughed lowly, patting Abe's tense shoulder. He jerked it away from Red's human hand and back his way to Valerie. Liz and Hellboy shared a surprised and concerned look at his unexpected reaction.

"Why did you come looking for me?" he asked in a cold, flat voice. He felt Valerie grasp his hand tightly with cold fingers when he came to stand next to her. In fear or support, he couldn't tell except that she was shaking. Liz gave him a strange look, brushing her long hair behind a pale ear.

"We came to bring you home, Abe."

"And what if I don't want to go back, Liz?"

"Hey, it's hard living there but where else can we live?" Hellboy reasoned carefully. Abe narrowed his eyes at both of them, moving in front of Valerie. He felt her clammy fingers on his back through his coat and shirt. It gave him courage.

"Don't play with me. You both can go where ever you want and be a celebrity. The world knows who you are and accepts it. Face it; you're a famous freak. But me? No, I will not live in a cage again," Abe replied sharply, his tongue flickering with ice, eyeing them dangerously. "I have no need to live like that anymore."

Liz's dark, quick eyes flickered behind him to look at the woman who trembled a bit more. People seemed to have that reaction. Abe knew why: her seeming coldness, hard set lips and silence frightened them. All together it did make for one frightening brunette. He glanced back at Valerie who gave him a tight-lipped grin in reassurance.

Hellboy caught on finally and he seemed a little less than happy.

"Blue, you really leaving us? We thought that maybe you just needed a break but…you seriously don't want to be part of the Bureau anymore?" he asked lowly, his voice betraying his hurt. Abe felt his heart sink at the pain in his voice and he loosened his tenseness. He felt Valerie's hand clutch his jacket for a moment as he moved forward, releasing almost instantly.

"Red, I am tired; tired of fighting, tired of hiding behind goggles and beards. I'm sick of being filmed and treated like a piece of equipment. I know you are too," Abe explained heavily. "But you can do practically anything you want now. Liz, too. I was lucky to go the restroom without an escort."

Liz nodded in understanding and she smiled in reassurance. He knew she would get it. Hellboy didn't look entirely convinced. He jerked his crimson chin toward Valerie who finally detached herself from the wall to join Abe.

"Is that the only reason, Abe?"

"No, it's not, Red. I'm happy as well," he replied as stoically as possible. Valerie grasped his hand again, her shoulder to his. "Odd concept, isn't it?"

That put Hellboy back a step mentally and he glowered in lessened frustration, his stone hand moving slightly, grinding. Behind him his tail twitched in agitation, snagging Valerie's fascination for a moment. After a moment, Red took on a more accepting visage, looking at his friend more seriously.

"So what's the plan?"

Abe sighed through his nose in soft relief.

"A: remove the tracer. B: beg for you to create a dead end trail for the Bureau to follow."

"No need to beg, Abe. We'll do it," Liz interrupted immediately. She came up to him briskly, motioning for the inhaler. Valerie jumped a little, still unnerved and clutched his hand a little harder. "I know where the tracer is. It's removing it that's a problem."

"I can remove it," Hellboy offered with a grin, snapping his fingers in front of him. Liz cringed at the sound of scratching granite and crinkled her pretty nose.

"I don't think pulverizing the thing is smart. If the signal suddenly ends, they aren't going to believe that we didn't find him or a body."

"So what's your plan?" Hellboy retaliated, crossing his arms over his massive chest. Liz turned a shade red in anger as she unclasped Abe's inhaler for him, ignoring his grin.

"I don't know, you damn big red monkey! Why don't you think of something intelligent for once?" she snapped back. Abe rolled his eyes and sighed a laugh. Some things never change.

"Feels like home."

"I've got an idea," Valerie suddenly said, her voice tiny and meek. All eyes turned to her and she tried her hardest not to shrink against Abe. She bit her lip in restrained nervousness and shifted her feet.

"And you are?" Hellboy asked a little less than kindly. The whole little tiff with Liz put him in the mood for a fight. Abe cast him a dangerous look before squeezing Valerie's hand.

"This is Valerie. She saved my life in Michigan and offered me a shelter until…well, until she gets sick of me, I suppose," Abe explained, looking down at her. A wide smile broke over her for a moment. 'Which is never' he caught from her.

"Ahem…so, the idea?" Hellboy cut in abruptly. Liz smirked at the demon before stepping around him to go back down the hall.

"Birds."


	12. Chapter 12

"So…" Liz sighed in what would have been a nonchalant way. Valerie looked up at her from the plate of sandwiches they were accumulating. Abe could hear them even though they kept their voices down. Being psychic had its perks. Hellboy sat across from him at the dining room table as he dismantled his inhaler, playing with the tiny screws and pins.

"You and Abe together now?" Liz asked quietly. Abe strained to listen as he removed a cover plat on a wire system. Silence reigned except the frenzied flurry of Valerie's mind.

"I suppose. Not officially."

"Officially?"

"Well, it just sort of happened," Valerie said, obviously flustered. You just sort of made it happen, Abe revised silently, laughing in his head.

"Do you know what you are getting into?" Liz asked in a low, serious tone, stilling whatever she was doing. Again, he heard only silence and a tumult of emotions.

"No. But I don't rightly care."

Liz said nothing for a long moment, contemplating the severe determination in the other woman's conviction. Abe wished one of them would say something as he carefully applied tweezers to the tracer. All he heard was the clicking of silverware and their hands rumpling bread packages.

"So how do we go about getting a bird?" Hellboy grumped loudly, breaking the tense silence. Abe jumped a little, the tweezers jerking off the tracer, little strands of adhesive sticking to it. He gave the demon an annoyed look before taking a pair of scissors to the glue.

"Get a net?" Red continued, not liking the silence. "Sleeping pills? C'mon, someone's got to have an idea."

"I do. We have a pet store that sells homing pigeons. Get one that was raised on the west coast or Europe. Attach the tracer and off goes the wild goose chase," Valerie replied a bit icily. She came up to the table and dropped the plate unceremoniously on the table. The sandwiches toppled half off the table. She went to the living room to gather her coat and boots. "I'll be back. Don't break anything else."

All three of them sat in silence as she stomped down the porch to her car. Once it sped away, slipping crazily in the snow. Red whistled in amazement, snagging a sandwich.

"Cheerful one, ain't she?"

For the next half hour they talked about the last month, missions and mishaps. It felt like it was before he left. Even Red let go of his discomfort long enough to chat about John, who was no longer upset about the stolen bike. He was in Siberia currently, following up on a witch in the mountains.

"Abe?'

"Yes?"

"I'm worried about this whole thing with Val-"

"Don't be."

"Abe, let her talk. I'm not happy with this either."

"In all honesty, there isn't a chance of this working out."

Abe felt his patience begin to wan. Standing up, he paced to the kitchen and back, taking no comfort in the glittering snow outside or the quick, agitated step of his stride.

"I know that. How could I not? What do you think I was doing in town? I was going to leave and she knows that," he said, his desperate confusion seeping into his words. He sighed as he stopped and covered his face with his hands. "I don't know what I am doing. I really don't. I have to leave eventually. I can't hold her back like that. It's for the best."

Hellboy and Liz sat quietly, watching him go from the dining room to the kitchen and listening to his ramble in concern.

"I don't think she is going to let go of you so easily, Abe. She cares too much about you," Liz remarked heavily, picking at the left over crust on the plate. Abe stopped and gave her a determined look.

"I'll make her let go. It's for her own good."

A sudden clang alarmed them all. Valerie stood behind Abe in the kitchen, having come in from the back porch. At her snow-covered boots was a small birdcage inside which a gray bird fluttered in agitation at having been dropped. A look of heart break was stamped on her cold-flushed face and she shivered.

"The car broke down. Snow's too thick," she mumbled blankly, not blinking or looking away from Abe. Snow dripped off her fog coat to the linoleum like tears. "The bird's from Moscow."

Abe opened his mouth to speak some sort of comforting goodbye and that snapped her from her shock.

"Valerie?"

She stared at him, her eyes watering like they did the night before in betrayed hurt. Her lips trembled and she inhaled sharply. Before he could say anything else she turned about to stumble out the back door, tripping on the jamb.

"Valerie!" Abe called, rushing to the porch.

"Let her go, Abe!" he heard Hellboy yell. He didn't bother responding to them. A bit more gracefully, he raced across the yard, following Valerie as she ran across the snow covered field.

His body had problems with the frigid cold, making it harder and harder to breath without his inhaler. He watched her disappear into the line of barren trees, nearly hitting one with her shoulder. He stopped inside the shelter of trees, glad for the respite from the wind. Up ahead, he heard Valerie running and caught a glimmer of her red scarf as it flashed about a tree. Judging from the hard ascent of the mountain, she wouldn't be able to run much further. No sound of Hellboy or Liz came to him and it made this whole thing easier. He didn't need an audience.

Slowing to a brisk walk, he forced himself to breathe, trudging after her clumsy footprints. It amazed him but he ended up spending a half hour tracking her.

Coming over a small ridge, Abe glanced about and spotted her. About twenty yards ahead and to the left was a small pond, coalesced from the previous rains and frozen over, nearly invisible in the dim light. At the edge of it, Valerie lay, half curled and unmoving. A jolt of terrified fear screamed down his spine and he ran to her.

About two feet into the iced over pond was a large break, lapping gently with below 0 water. He could see where she had dragged herself out, her lower half soaked, crushing snow under her wet body.

"Valerie? Valerie!" Abe yelled as he fell to his knees next to her. Gently he pulled on her arm to lay her back, uncurling her. Wet snow clung to her face and ice-crusted hair as her bluish lips trembled from the cold. Almost harshly, Abe rubbed his glove-clad hands over her eyelids and cheeks, trying to prevent frostbite. Valerie opened her eyes to dazed slits at his touches and she quaked badly.

"I-I w-w-wasn't paying…attention," came the scared explanation through chattering teeth. "My l-legs. I c-c-can't feel my-my legs."

Abe grabbed her hands and peeled off the soaked gloves. He puffed on them hard, holding them between his and rubbing vigorously.

"We need to get you home. Your body temperatures are dropping," Abe muttered quickly, trying hard to keep the situation medical. It was too hard to think of this as the woman he loved freezing to death.

That thought stopped him dead in his movements. Love? Did that thought really race like fire through his brain?

"A-Abe, I can't breathe," Valerie said, trying to struggle against the icy air that was flooding her lungs. He refocused on her grayish cheeks and glazed eyes. "My mouth's frozen."

"Come on, sit up. We've got to get you out of here," Abe pulled her to a sitting position, hating how stiff her body felt from the ice on her legs and belly. A sharp, ragged gasp escaped her as she tried to breathe.

Thinking quickly, Abe leaned down and kissed her hard, despite her chilly lips and icy tongue. He almost laughed as she weakly fought against him in residue anger. It took her quite a few moments to respond. Slowly but surely his warm tongue coaxed life back in her mouth, heating it with their movement.

"There. Is it easier to breathe?" Abe asked as he lifted away. Valerie nodded mutely, stiffly reaching up for him. Grasping her shaking hands he gently pulled her to her quaking feet, steadying her when her ankles gave out.

"Get on. It'll be faster," Abe ordered, turning about and crouching down so she could climb on his back. Quietly, Valerie obeyed, her numb thighs clasping about his waist and dead arms draping over his shoulders. Abe shivered when the frost from her generally warm form seeped to his skin.

Stubbornly, Abe marched down the mountain, his legs quaking from their combined weight. He focused on her weak, staggered breath that blew on his neck, counting them as they fell. She was getting terribly sick, he could read her body signals like a chart. Despite the cold, he talked to her to keep her awake. He talked about his years in the B.P.R.D. and all the adventures he had. She said nothing and didn't even make a sound when he stumbled and dropped her.

Finally, the ranch came into view, more inviting than it had ever been before. He reached up to grasp her fingers. No response when squeezed. Panic seized him and he ran for the warmth of the house.


	13. Chapter 13

"Out. Out, I need to get her warm," Abe snapped in frantic frustration at his two friends as he rushed into Valerie's bedroom, carrying her limp form. He laid her down on the bed and immediately began peeling off ice encrusted clothes. He heard Liz say something about releasing the bird with the tracer. He didn't care.

The door clicked closed and he attacked the inner layers of clothing. He ripped her thin long sleeved shirt as he tugged it off, buttons flying to clink on the floor. Goose pimples rose on her chilled flesh as it was exposed to the warm air.

"Valerie, honey, wake up. I need you awake," Abe said quickly once she was stripped of the garments and lying naked on the bed. Gently he tapped her cheeks, trying to get her to wake up. She gave a small, choked moan and tossed her head away from his offending hand. Well, awake enough to argue at least.

Despite his aching tendons and sore body, Abe looped an arm under her knees and under her shoulders. Hefting her up, Abe groaned and staggered to the bathroom. Valerie's room had an old fashioned porcelain tub with burnished clawed feet. As gently as he could, he set her in, adjusting her feet under the spout.

"Abe?" Valerie sighed tiredly, her eyes barely sliding open. After turning the water on to a comfortably hot setting, he peeled off his coat and shirt.

"I'm here, honey," he answered, adjusting her hands so they settled in the hot water. He didn't even notice that he was calling her such names.

"Good," she muttered softly, her eyes rolling closed again. Abe ran a hand over her pale brow, feeling her temperature.

"Sweetheart, I need you to stay awake," he repeated, tapping her cheek again. She flinched and lolled her head to look at him, eyes glazed and lost.

"Why call me that?" she asked dully, not even seeming to enjoy the warmth. Abe stopped fussing to look at her fully. Her eyes were reddened and exhausted, cheeks flushed and lips blue.

"Why not?"

"You know goddamn well why not."

"No, I don't. Why don't you tell me?" he countered, glad that she was awake at least.

"Why don't you make me?" she replied listlessly, turning her face away to gaze out the window overhead. He watched her mutely as she sighed heavily, the steaming water rippling about her belly and chest. One of her hands finally moved, coming up to wrap about her breasts as she shivered.

"Valerie," Abe whispered heavily, reaching out to clasp her chin. If she hadn't have been so tired, her feeble struggles against him might've worked. "Sweet-"

"Don't call me that."

"-heart, listen to me. We both knew it was coming. I can't stay as much as I want to," Abe tried to explain as she glared at him, apparently feeling more lively.

"Why not?"

"Don't play games. You know why not."

"No, explain it to me just so I am fully aware."

"It's not fair to put you in a hidden, secluded life."

"Yeah? And it's not fair to just leave and not say goodbye or to not hear what I want, is it? Don't talk about fair, Abe, when you couldn't tell me anything and you knew everything," Valerie replied sharply. Abe flinched at that and withdrew his hand from her, shame flooding him. He didn't know what to say; all her stinging, hurt words were right. His heart hit the bottom of his stomach and he slumped in defeat.

"I'm sorry," he murmured, unable to look at her again. After a moment of silence he took a deep breath to brace himself. "I'll get my things."

He stood shakily to leave, legs quaking. He felt as if his body was not but leaves, sifting and shuffling apart. Therefore when a startlingly strong hand grabbed his and yanked back, he fell fairly easily over the edge of the tub, knees buckling. Abe grunted as he fell sideways into Valerie's lap, splashing water onto the floor. In mute amazement, Abe stared at Valerie's sore, reddened eyes that pleaded. Her arms tightened about him.

"Please don't go," she whispered, her voice cracking as her control slipped. "I'm sorry."

"For what?"

She ducked her head lower and let go as her shoulders shook. Squirming out from under him, Valerie laid on her side, against the porcelain, cheek pressed to the cold smooth surface. Now that she had literally grabbed his attention, he wasn't about to let it go at that. Lying on his side next to her in the increasingly slim tub, he snaked his arm about her wet waist and hauled her back against him.

"Valerie, honey, what are you sorry for?" Abe murmured, kissing the back of her neck, lips brushing her warming skin. He never thought he'd get the chance again to feel her shiver and lean against him as she did despite herself.

"I'm just being stupid. You're right but I really don't want you to leave," she confessed in a whisper, her body deflating in sadness in his arms. Abe hugged her tighter and kissed her wet shoulder.

"I'm not going to leave right now."

"But you will. Eventually, you will," she returned bitterly. The sour effect was ruined by a sniffle and sneeze that shook her entire frame. Abe laughed lowly to her chagrin.

"Let's leave the decision making until after you are better," he amended in a light voice. Valerie remained silent, contemplating, before turning about to face him. She gazed at him with clearer, less hurt eyes and smiled a little tiredly. Abe could tell she was suffering from the sickness that was beginning to set in.

"So what brought on the sugary, pet names?" Valerie asked in a taunt, running her now warm fingertips up his bare abdomen. He shuddered, trying to cover it up with a shrug. "I don't think I mind it. Just don't call me 'babe'."

"How about 'sweetheart'?" he inquired in a rougher, distracted voice, dragging his hand over the slick curve of her thigh and hip.

"Only on occasion."

"Such as?"

"Well, now would be such an occasion," she chuckled thickly, her palms sliding up the firm muscles of his chest. Not caring about how tired he was or how sick she was getting, Abe wrapped his arms about her waist to anchor her to him. He wasn't sure who instigated it but once their lips met and their tongues slipped together, he didn't care. Between their bodies the hot water sloshed meekly and splashed as their hands roamed hungrily.

Tomorrow would come but for now it didn't matter.

The snow still fell heavily when they finally emerged from the tub, happily exhausted. Liz and Hellboy had left at some point, leaving a note on the table for them. Agents would be checking into Montana soon and they needed to be away from the ranch to report. Abe had a feeling that it wouldn't be the last time they would run into each other. In fact, he was going to make sure it wasn't. The house was utterly silent now, devoid of life except for them as they sat on the linoleum against the cabinet island in the kitchen. Valerie had refused to go to bed and wanted to watch the snow with him.

Now she rested between his legs, her back to his chest, tenderly wrapped by a flannel blanket and his moist arms. Abe rested his cheek against her hair, breathing with her scratchy, hard intake and outtake, trying to regulate it. He could feel her broiling inner fever from her sticky, sweaty skin. It was suffocating his own frame, trapped by the flannel, but he didn't care. He didn't even care how she coughed and shook from head to toe in his grasp.

"You know, I feel like I swallowed an SOS pad soaked in kerosene," Valerie croaked strained, one hand clasping her throat. Abe laughed.

"You sound like you did."

"It's not pleasant."

"Oh?" Abe sighed in playful sympathy as he covered her hand with his own. He tilted her chin about to gain access to her mouth. She smiled into his mouth, tiredly chasing his tongue with her own. Abruptly, she broke away to cough into her fist.

"Sorry. Don't know how you could kiss me right now. I must taste horrible."

"Never to me."

"Well, you're weird, Abe."

"And yet you are still with me. I think it's your sanity that is under question here, dear," Abe teased, brushing her semi-dry hair from her face. Valerie rolled her heavy eyes and even that small movement took effort.

After a moment, she turned in his grasp to lay her legs across his thigh, cheek pressing to his collar. Abe twined his fingers in her damp hair as her arms came up to wrap about his shoulders. Her breath blew across his chest as she sighed heavily, body deflating in his arms.

"Abe…what're we going to do?" she asked softly before kissing the skin under his chin. He made a thick sound in his throat, trying hard not to pay attention to the growing tension in his lower back.

"We are going to end up naked on the floor if you're not careful," he replied lowly, tracing his hand from her neck down her back. She trembled before sniffling.

"I think such aerobics should be left for when I can breathe. What I meant was-"

"I know what you meant, Valerie. But, please, not now," he interrupted gently. "Let's just go to bed and I'll call you in for work tomorrow."

"Well, you should be good to go by Tuesday," Abe informed her, mildly depressed as he let go of her wrist. Valerie smiled brightly and wiggled to sit up in bed. She put her arms about his waist reassuringly.

"Good. Don't sound so angsty about it," she scolded lightly. Abe rubbed his hand over her forehead, pushing back her hair and testing her temperature yet again. He still couldn't seem to get over how easily she took the feel of his webbed hands.

"I just am going to miss having you here all the time," he responded honestly. She laughed at that, her throat still scratchy and her cheeks flushed.

"And I miss using my legs," she countered teasingly. Her eyes softened when he didn't laugh. She pulled him closer, hugging his hips to her chest. "We need the money, Abe."

"I know," he sighed, reaching up with one hand to rub his eyes with his thumb and finger. "I hate being so useless."

"Useless, my ass. I probably would've died if you hadn't chased me," Valerie snorted, tightly keeping her annoyance at bay. Abe looked back down at her, before grinning and cupping her chin in his palm. Craning his head down, he kissed her softly, the tender planes of her lips giving him shivers. Before he could even realize it, he had straddled her as she laid back, running her fingers over his back and shoulders.

"Abe," she sighed longingly before biting his lower lip in need. He groaned at the feeling of her hips pressing up into him, rubbing provocatively. He could feel his heart thundering and hear the way she panted between kisses.

Abruptly, Abe sat up, away from her tempting mouth. Despite her frustrated sigh and the way her arms fell back upon the pillows, he knew he couldn't do it. Abe remained silent as he collected himself. Valerie turned her face away, cheek cushioned by her dark brown hair, her eyes glazed and angry.

"Why can't you?" she asked tensely after a few moments. Abe flinched, feeling her frustration radiating from her like a sad fog. She knew it was his first time that he could remember but they had practically done everything but that final act.

Abe sighed heavily, deciding that perhaps it was best for him to voice his inner concerns.

"I'm just afraid that when we do…that, that you…you'll…" he trailed off uncomfortably as she turned her heated gaze back upon him. That same anger, that boiling, raging spirit of betrayed fury, grew in her, flaring through her mind and body. Something he did, that man of long ago had hurt her so badly that it still raged in her.

"That I'll get pregnant?" she finished, her voice cold yet burning in seething anger.

"Yes, we don't know what could-or if I can even-"

"Okay, let's clear up this little thing here and now," Valerie interrupted sharply, cutting through his babbling. Abe gave her a vexed, hurt look at her gruffness before sliding off her to sit on the edge of the bed. With a strained sigh, Valerie sat up and began to agitatedly fiddle with her plain gold ring, her thoughts a whirl of ashes and fire.

"I can't get pregnant, Abe," she said finally, her voice tight.

"Why?"

She flinched as she gazed at her white knuckled hand.

"You remember that memory we shared? Do you remember what my Uncle was saying about him?"

"Unfortunately."

"He was my fiancé. We were going to get married in November of '03. But I couldn't get pregnant. We tried for months…"

Valerie paused, chewing her lower lip in pain, her deep brown eyes watering at the memory and the rage in her soul. Abe could feel his stomach clenching nervously at what she was to say.

"We went to see a doctor a week before the wedding. He was so worried about it. I have what's called Anti-phospholipids antibody syndrome. Five percent of the female population is diagnosed with it."

"I know of it."

"When the doctor told us, he just got quiet and left. Didn't say a word or look at me. I came home and his things were gone. Guess he couldn't live with a wife that couldn't give him children. After that I moved here."

Abe finally looked at her fully, a dead weight seeming to settle in his chest. Unable to give life and abandoned for it. A woman's greatest joy stolen in her youth. A staggered sigh escaped Valerie, her lungs trying to catch it and hold it futilely. Her face was pale and her eyes tight as she contained the emptiness her anger developed.

"So, yeah…don't worry about that."

Abe wasn't sure what to do or say or how to comfort her. Couldn't say he understood since he didn't have a uterus. There really wasn't much he could do to fix what was hurting her.

Standing up, Abe looked down at her bowed head and reached to grasp her cold, unresponsive fingers.

"I'm not leaving you, Valerie," he promised with utter conviction, tightening his grip. She didn't move at all or even breathe.

"Don't pity me, Abe."

He nodded even though she didn't see it.

"Go back to sleep, darling."

Valerie complied wordlessly, falling back in bed and turning on her side, away from him and curling into her desolate sadness, still and silent. Abe tucked the blanket about her sick body, kissed her chilly cheek and left. There were times when he wished he was isolated in his own mind and couldn't hear her silent agony.


	14. Chapter 14

The darkness gave him the much needed courage, strengthened the muscles in his arm as he reached out. It calmed his pulse as his skin grazed her ankle. Abe paused when Valerie sighed in her sleep, shifting a little at his touch. Taking a deep, silent breath, he wrapped his fingers about her foot, feeling the heat from her blood warming his palm.

Sliding his hand up her ankle to her calf, he pushed up the legging of her flannel pajamas, gently squeezing and treasuring the flesh. Valerie froze as she awoke, silently staring into the utter darkness of the two a.m. morning. Abe heard her breath falter and hitch as she realized his touch and waited impatiently.

Placing both hands on her slightly bent knees, Abe crawled astride her, fingers rubbing and almost pinching. Shakily the hands crept up her thighs, sliding underneath to test the tender flesh.

Abe felt so nervous, so shaky now that he knew there was no turning back. Valerie gasped in pleasure as he tested her bottom over her pajamas and sat up on an elbow. Reaching out she ran her palm down his goose pimpled chest, reveling at the vibration of his pounding chest. She grasped his shoulder and pulled him up to her, pressing him down upon her so she could capture his hungering lips.

His hands slid from under her to creep under her nightshirt as his hips crushed against the cradle of her own. A tiny moan whispered from Valerie's mouth, her tongue rubbing against his roughly for every particle of flavor.

Less timidly, Abe cupped her breasts under her shirt, fingers pinching and rolling her tender nipples. A ragged gasp rewarded him as her pelvis jerked up against his straining length.

"Abe," Valerie whimpered into his mouth, her legs coming about to wrap about his lean waist. Almost desperately she twined her ankles together at the small of his back, hips rising to rub against his hard desire. Abe sighed harshly and sat up on an elbow to look down blindly to where he knew her to be. Gently, despite the dying need to be within her, he kissed her brow, her eyelids, her lips, everywhere in worship.

"Please…slow down…a little…I won't…make it," he whispered brokenly between kisses. Valerie nodded blindly, chin hitting his forehead lightly and laid still, breath caught in her throat.

For a few minutes, he listened to her as she intently studied every inch of him against her, her chest heaving under her t-shirt. She was begging him to do something, anything to help tame and sate the fire that he had started in her weeks ago.

Almost aggressively, Abe slid his hand under her shirt again, palm pressing to the soft skin of her belly. She inhaled sharply, raising up to his touch like a sprouting plant to the warmth of the sun. Softly, he tucked a hand behind her head and tugged her shirt loose, throwing it heedlessly to the floor.

Instead of caressing her chest again, he danced his fingertips down the crest between her breasts and down to the hem of her bottoms. Slowly, he inserted his finger into the waistline, dragging it along the skin. Perhaps it was then that Valerie realized his intentions for she moaned thickly and closed her eyes in anticipation.

Trying to overcome his nervousness, Abe quickly moved his hand under her pants to cup her firmly. Both gasped sharply at that, she in pleasure and he at the burning heat of her. For a moment, he didn't move a muscle, afraid to proceed and displease her. She sighed and wiggled against his hesitant fingers.

"Abe, please."

Unable to deny her, Abe curiously probed her warm, honey slicked folds, feeling electric pulses run through her frame. As he explored, she exhaled at the sensations, her legs shifting restlessly. Carefully, Abe shifted to his side by her so that he might explore in ease.

Impatiently, Valerie kicked off he bottoms, color and heat flushing her cheeks. Tenderly he felt about, his fingers getting slicked as he probed, aroused and fascinated at once. Dipping his fingers into her opening, he groaned lowly at the feel of it, soaked and eager. After a bit of testing, he found that her hips jerked in pleasure especially when he circled a finger and rubbed a tiny nub deep in the folds.

Abruptly, Valerie sat up and grasped his shoulders roughly. Abe allowed her to drag him upon her, hands shaking in uncontrollable desire. Wrapping her legs and arms about him, she panted, her lips barely brushing his.

"Now, Abe, I need you now!" she trembled horribly and he knew that he was as well. He nodded quickly, not trusting his cottony throat for a voice. Gently, with a quaking hand, she grasped his length and pressed him to her entrance. Then they paused, quivering and frightened like children in a storm they barely understood.

Valerie licked her dry lips and danced her shaking hands over his weakened shoulders. Her lips hovered against his like a moth.

"I love you, Abe."

The world became a blur then to Abe. Their lips crushed together as they cried out in relief, bodies finally slipping into one. His hips jerked helplessly at the intense sensation on her wet flesh stretching around him and he gasped.

Swallowing hard, Abe pressed in deeper, drawing a shocked cry from his lover. He wanted to go slowly, to feel every inch of penetration to its fullest extent but he couldn't deny the need inside. He needed the release she so willingly offered.

Reaching down, he cupped her bottom with one hand, lifting her leg and spreading her wider. Hard and fast he thrust into her, fingers pinching her thigh harshly. Valerie began crying out, her body being mercilessly pounded against. Barely able to stand the delicious pressure of him sliding in and out of her, curling her toes in ecstasy, she threw her hands behind her head to clench the sheets.

Panting in effort, Abe pressed closer, biting her sweaty neck and listening to her wildly beating bird heart. For one numb moment he wondered if he was hurting her and in his state he couldn't read her at all. But she begged him, urged him to go faster and harder, so he did.

Abe couldn't breath no matter how he tried. All he could feel was his heart pounding and his flesh splitting her wide open. Just as he thought the world would end in this euphoria or darkness and the scent of skin, Valerie arched against him, her nails digging into his back as she choked a scream. And Abe felt a nebulae of lightening and fire race through him before fading into the oblivion of bliss.


End file.
